• Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 74 subscribers
  • Views 67 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Telling your family

l318

I am an adult and just got my diagnosis last week.

I always thought I was autistic. I never thought of it as a disability, just the name we give to people who have some differences. I first brought it up with my mother when I was 20. She reacted very badly, started crying and saying it was other people putting thoughts in my head. A few days ago, some family members were discussing a distant cousin who is autistic (he's 8) and they described it as a sickness and they said they could always tell there was something wrong with him.

Has anyone been in this situation before? I don't want to tell my family, but I also feel like I am hiding a part of myself from them and that I shouldn't have to.

  • When I told my mum she was supportive, but my dad said 'oh no, you're not like THOSE people!'. It really upset me, but apparently they went away and googled autism and the ways it presents itself and they now better understand the condition. As with many people, they were only aware of those with autism who are severely disabled. I don't think most people are malicious with it, they're just unaware.

    I can't say how your family will react and it's absolutely fine to not disclose to them now.  

  • Hello and welcome to the online community.  It is great to have you here, although I am sorry to hear about your family being unsupportive.  Unfortunately, I am sure this is something many other autistic folks have experienced, but that means there will be many others here who can offer advice and support to you regarding this.

    You might like to have a look at some of our NAS advice and guidance pages:

    Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis - this page includes both potential positive and negative outcomes of disclosing your diagnosis to others, as well as quotes from people about their experiences of disclosing their diagnosis.

    It may also be a good idea, if you are able or willing, to try and discuss with your family about what autism actually is, rather than what preconceived notions they may have about it.  NAS has a comprehensive About Autism guide here that covers the core characteristics of autism, behaviours and sensory processing, and even myths about the causes of autism.

    Please remember that whether to disclose your diagnosis or not is your decision, and should not be influenced by anyone else's thoughts or reactions.  And also remember that you're not alone!  The entire online community is always here for you.  Wishing you the best going forward.  Please do feel free to post again and let us know how things are going!