Diagnosed Yesterday!

Thank you that’s is so nice and kind, good advice.️

Hi and welcome.

I am a 57 year old man and I was diagnosed about a month ago. Like you I don't know anyone else who is autistic. I am also lucky enough to have a very supportive partner.

The first thing I would say is pause and take a breath. It will all work out, even if you don't know how yet.

I am new to this forum but I have found everyone to be kind, patient and supportive. You are not alone. If you have questions ask them. You will get lots of good advice here. 

There is no requirement to tell anyone and who you tell is entirely your decision. For me, the important thing is that I need to feel comfortable with who I tell and how much I want to disclose. I am sorry to hear your family have not been receptive but that may change. They might be shocked by the news. If you receive negative feedback it is important to remember it is not because of you. You cannot control anybody's feelings but your own. I know this through bitter experience. You simply need to deal with what is, not what should be.

To be honest I am winging it a bit myself, but that's okay. I am new to this, as are you, and it will take time to adjust. As much time as you need.

Research is an excellent idea, but again at your pace. I was advised not to rush in and overwhelm myself with information. Good advice.

To end on a saying. If you do not know who you are, the question becomes who do you want to be?

Take care and stay positive.

Thanks, I have found family to be the least receptive. They have only known the person you portrayed, masking can be a hard concept for them.

Thank you, I have already had negative reaction from a family member so I know what you mean, since then I have said nothing to anyone, I don’t think you was harsh at all. I will take it slowly thank you, good luck to you to.

Thank you   I will take my time thank you for chatting with me xx

Hi and welcome, I was diagnosed last year at the age of 57, the only advice I can give is to choose carefully who you tell of your diagnosis. You can’t untell them, don’t expect everyone’s reply to be positive.

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, I don’t mean to be, I hope you find understanding, you will at least find understanding in this community.

Try to take it slowly, you have always been autistic   Good luck.

HiBatfink1 and welcome.

You've landed in the right place for help, support and answers to the many questions you probably have.

Im late diagnosed too, I felt like I had to do certain things when I got a diagnosis and I started to rush into joining ND in person groups because its what I thought I should be doing. I am now a lot more relaxed about my diagnosis and I do the things I enjoy, like chatting and browsing on here. So maybe just take things slowly, feel your way into things and be gentle with yourself.

Wishing you well.

Thank you that’s so helpful

Thank you, for your words, I am not sure who to tell, I think I will remain guarded and only tell people I trust, the reaction from my sister was like your “ were all a bit autistic” remark so from now on I will be more careful.  

Thank you great advice x

Thank you for your kind words, I think your right I will take my time to get my head around things and decide what path to go.

Hi and congratulations on your diagnosis. I think the best thing to do is sit with it for a while, just allow it to settle. Nothing about you has changed except your knowledge about yourself. 
I would then think about listening to some podcasts, reading some books and online info, and maybe following some autistic folk on Instagram if you are on there. 
join in with or just read conversations on here, it all helps to make you feel you’re not alone. 

Hi Batfink1 

Welcome to the community. 

There’s a lot of information and educational literature out there and I relate to the feelings you describe.

I’m female, diagnosed in my 60s nearly two years ago, so the memory of the immediate aftermath of diagnosis is still fresh in my mind. Everybody has there own unique way of navigating the information. I scoured the webpages of autism charities, including this one, Autism NI and a few others. I bought some books on autism and self care for autistic people, and had a few follow up counselling sessions with the clinic that diagnosed me. 

Regarding telling people about diagnosis, I told a few people but got a negative reaction from two, e.g., “We’re all a bit autistic”, so in hindsight, it would have been better not to say anything. I’m not that concerned now as those people aren’t important to me. One person was very supportive and helpful. 

I have learned a lot from being here in this community so that is something I endorse.

Hi Batfink1 

Batfink1 said:

second reaction I now know I have this condition for sure and it makes everything hard.

I would recommend against thinking this way as you are the same person today as you were before the diagnosis but now you have the information to begin to so something about the stressers that your autism causes you.

In this way you are in a much better place and can start to improve quality of life, so it is worth celebrating.

Knowledge = power so you are more powerful today than you have ever been.

Batfink1 said:

I feel like I am standing in front of a huge signpost, with a hundreds of directions

My recommendation is to chose one direction - learn about your autism. Start with an easy to browse book like 

Autism For Dummies (2025) - ISBN 9781394301003 (paberback); ISBN 9781394301027 (ebook)

In parallel with this get a psychotherapist to help you deal with your individual issues and traumas which will help you learn tools to cope with life and your autistic traits much better. I found mindfulness incredibly useful and with meditation I could have a regular life it I wanted to.

Everyone is different but with knowledge and a bit of guidance / support then I think this is the most effective way to turn the diagnosis into a bold new start in life.

Hello to you and welcome, 

This is a wonderful site and the people curtious and friendly. There is lots of formal information from the NAS and more individual stuff from the members. I hope you enjoy your stay.

So, you "feel like you are standing in front of a huge signpost, with a hundreds of directions".  This overwhelming feeling appears to be very common; I know I felt the same way.  The general advice is to take things slowly which means, I guess, simply standing by the signpost for a while until you decide upon the direction(s) you want to take and importantly don't want to take.  

I am 70+ and recently diagnosed too. and felt the same way as you. For me, it has taken at least 5 months to decide upon the roads I want to take and those I don't. For instance, I did let my GP/NHS know but not my dentist. Actually, I am still working things out, particularly the past.

The other piece of advice, generally given, is be kind to yourself. I am training myself to laugh at more of the things I have done in the past that were perceived, by others. as odd. 

Enjoy your journey!