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Diagnosed Yesterday!

Batfink1

Hi Universe , I  am a 51 year old Woman, and I have just been diagnosed yesterday, I have mixed emotions, the first was relief as now my life and all that has happened makes sense, second reaction I now know I have this condition for sure and it makes everything hard.

I am lucky I have a supportive partner, I don’t know anyone with Autism apart from myself, so I’m on here to meet people like me, as I can feel I am alone with all of this.

I feel like I am standing in front of a huge signpost, with a hundreds of directions, and I am not sure what to do next, do I tell anyone, do I have to tell anyone like the bank etc, where to get help if I need it,  is there anything I need to do now straight away, the list goes on.

Anyway hello to all, any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated.

Blush

  • in reply to ArchaeC

    Thank you, for your words, I am not sure who to tell, I think I will remain guarded and only tell people I trust, the reaction from my sister was like your “ were all a bit autistic” remark so from now on I will be more careful.  

  • in reply to Oscar

    Thank you for your kind words, I think your right I will take my time to get my head around things and decide what path to go.

  • Hi and congratulations on your diagnosis. I think the best thing to do is sit with it for a while, just allow it to settle. Nothing about you has changed except your knowledge about yourself. 
    I would then think about listening to some podcasts, reading some books and online info, and maybe following some autistic folk on Instagram if you are on there. 
    join in with or just read conversations on here, it all helps to make you feel you’re not alone. 

  • Hi  

    Welcome to the community. 

    There’s a lot of information and educational literature out there and I relate to the feelings you describe.

    I’m female, diagnosed in my 60s nearly two years ago, so the memory of the immediate aftermath of diagnosis is still fresh in my mind. Everybody has there own unique way of navigating the information. I scoured the webpages of autism charities, including this one, Autism NI and a few others. I bought some books on autism and self care for autistic people, and had a few follow up counselling sessions with the clinic that diagnosed me. 

    Regarding telling people about diagnosis, I told a few people but got a negative reaction from two, e.g., “We’re all a bit autistic”, so in hindsight, it would have been better not to say anything. I’m not that concerned now as those people aren’t important to me. One person was very supportive and helpful. 

    I have learned a lot from being here in this community so that is something I endorse.

  • Hi  

    The standard NAS guidelines for supporting others is to suggest having a look through the online resources they have available. I did exactly that after getting diagnosed myself. I completely concur with that feeling of standing at a signpost and not knowing which way to turn first! To follow that NAS protocol, I'd definitely recommend taking a look at their "newly diagnosed" pages and starting from there.
    Speaking from a personal perspective, it has been a real emotional mix for me too. Getting used to what feels like a "true" identity has been something of a long journey. During that process, remembering to be kind to myself has been some of the best advice I received, alongside trying to take things as calmly and logically as I can.
    Best wishes,
    Phased
  • Batfink1 said:
    second reaction I now know I have this condition for sure and it makes everything hard.

    I would recommend against thinking this way as you are the same person today as you were before the diagnosis but now you have the information to begin to so something about the stressers that your autism causes you.

    In this way you are in a much better place and can start to improve quality of life, so it is worth celebrating.

    Knowledge = power so you are more powerful today than you have ever been.

    Batfink1 said:
    I feel like I am standing in front of a huge signpost, with a hundreds of directions

    My recommendation is to chose one direction - learn about your autism. Start with an easy to browse book like 

    Autism For Dummies (2025) - ISBN 9781394301003 (paberback); ISBN 9781394301027 (ebook)

    In parallel with this get a psychotherapist to help you deal with your individual issues and traumas which will help you learn tools to cope with life and your autistic traits much better. I found mindfulness incredibly useful and with meditation I could have a regular life it I wanted to.

    Everyone is different but with knowledge and a bit of guidance / support then I think this is the most effective way to turn the diagnosis into a bold new start in life.

  • Hello to you and welcome, 

    This is a wonderful site and the people curtious and friendly. There is lots of formal information from the NAS and more individual stuff from the members. I hope you enjoy your stay.

    So, you "feel like you are standing in front of a huge signpost, with a hundreds of directions".  This overwhelming feeling appears to be very common; I know I felt the same way.  The general advice is to take things slowly which means, I guess, simply standing by the signpost for a while until you decide upon the direction(s) you want to take and importantly don't want to take.  

    I am 70+ and recently diagnosed too. and felt the same way as you. For me, it has taken at least 5 months to decide upon the roads I want to take and those I don't. For instance, I did let my GP/NHS know but not my dentist. Actually, I am still working things out, particularly the past.

    The other piece of advice, generally given, is be kind to yourself. I am training myself to laugh at more of the things I have done in the past that were perceived, by others. as odd. 

    Enjoy your journey!