Freshly diagnosed with AuDHD

47 year old queer guy living in Brighton here.
On Wednesday I received a surprise diagnosis of severe ADHD. The diagnosis in itself was a surprise - let alone the severe part.
About two hours ago I received a surprise diagnosis of autism. This time, the surprise wasn't the diagnosis itself but the timing of it. I had a dual assessment on Wednesday but my ADOS assessment isn't for another week - hence my surprise at the diagnosis being confirmed already.
I have no issue with either diagnosis in themselves. But, I have to be honest, the surprise element of them both has really destabilised me. Brain is definitely overloaded and I definitely don't know how to be AuDHD "correctly" (despite trying to tell myself there is no correct way to be neurodiverse).
Have to be honest though, the fact that the diagnoses have been so chaotic in themselves feels very on brand for me and my life.

  • Congratulations on your diagnoses and welcome to the community!

    Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation - I've linked to an article below about this.

    As for many others, my autism diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting, rather than a conclusion with instant solutions. I'd suggest taking extra care to be patient to, and kind with, yourself - and to take your time with processing everything.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months, and others covering the kinds of support that you can access. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistics

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

    Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    I'll also just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

    Finally, just a quick word on terminology, along with a link to a useful article on autism and neurodiversity:

    "It is common for words related to neurodiversity to be misused. For example, people might say ‘Autistic people are neurodiverse’ when they mean ‘Autistic people are neurodivergent’.

    Examples of accurate phrases include:

    • Humans are neurodiverse.
    • Autistic people are neurodivergent.
    • Autism is a form of neurodivergence."

    NAS - Autism and neurodiversity

  • Hi and welcome Hugging 

    It’s understandable that you feel the way you do, it just feels so overwhelming when you get diagnosed, for me it was a mixture of feelings.

    Hope you stick around and get some support from this community Blush