• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 73 subscribers
  • Views 128 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Finally got my diagnosis at age 49

Tamarinda

I received the phone call I've been waiting for yesterday and was told that I meet the diagnostic criteria for autism. It officially confirmed something that I've felt for a long time. I'm 49 - about to turn 50 this month.

The immediate feeling I felt was relief as I had been really anxious about the results of the assessment. Since then I've just felt numb. Some memories from past relationships when I was a teenager came up and I realised why I acted the way I did. It's such a strange feeling viewing my whole life through a different lens. 

The only person I told was my husband but he just has the view 'the label doesn't matter. You're the same person anyway/'. My GP also said the same thing to me recently when I told her I was anxious about the diagnosis. I find this view really frustrating as it doesn't;t acknowledge what a big change it is in mid life to suddenly see yourself a different way. 

Today I really leaned into my routines to feel stable. Grateful for the gym I go to where I just turn up for class and workout without having to talk or be judged.

My work is arranging an occupational health assessment for me which will help them suggest reasonable adjustments for me. I'm currently off sick with burnout. It will be weird in the workplace to be seen differently after masking for so long and being seen as capable or even high achieving. I know that I can't go back to pushing myself like I did before but I feel like it's expected of me.

It feels like I'm at the start of a journey of changing my life and self identity but not sure exactly where to start. I was already doing a lot of research into autism anyway and joining forums like this one. I have a counsellor through my company's EAP so it will be good to talk this through with them.

Interested to hear how other late-diagnosed people felt when they got their diagnosis and what were some of the changes they made after diagnosis. 

Parents

  • Hello, 

    Great news. So pleased for you. Sorry to hear you are in burnout and hope you turn the corner soon. 

    I was diagnosed recently and you asked how others felt. So:

    I am lot more relaxed and contented.  Why, because all my life I have been told I am different and not always in a negative way. For instance, a friends comments "there is no-one like you" and "your are the person who knows how thing work" were actually appreciative but puzzling. Now, I understand that they really are part of who I am.  

    Life has been like doing a jigsaw with the picture face down; constantly changing the pieces, while trying to work out what on earth the picture could be. Post-assessment, I can now see the picture and whilst I have to start the jigsaw again there is now meaning, understanding and a connection. I may never finish the jigsaw but that doesn't matter because I desperateley needed to know what the picture was. I tend to think in patterns and thus find metaphors a far easier use of language. 

    Everything was all rather strange at first; I felt I there should be some very obvious seismic shift.  5 months later and I am rather laid back about it all. I am getting used to who I am and have always been. I am reflective by nature so that helps and retired so have the time. 

    I have started being far more direct with my partner and this has not been easy for either of us. However, we are getting to a better place and both benefitting. 

    I suspect that the 70+ years of masking is very ingrained and is going to to be hard to fix. I still haven't figured where the boundary of masking and say being introverted start and stop. I think I may need help with this.

Reply

  • Hello, 

    Great news. So pleased for you. Sorry to hear you are in burnout and hope you turn the corner soon. 

    I was diagnosed recently and you asked how others felt. So:

    I am lot more relaxed and contented.  Why, because all my life I have been told I am different and not always in a negative way. For instance, a friends comments "there is no-one like you" and "your are the person who knows how thing work" were actually appreciative but puzzling. Now, I understand that they really are part of who I am.  

    Life has been like doing a jigsaw with the picture face down; constantly changing the pieces, while trying to work out what on earth the picture could be. Post-assessment, I can now see the picture and whilst I have to start the jigsaw again there is now meaning, understanding and a connection. I may never finish the jigsaw but that doesn't matter because I desperateley needed to know what the picture was. I tend to think in patterns and thus find metaphors a far easier use of language. 

    Everything was all rather strange at first; I felt I there should be some very obvious seismic shift.  5 months later and I am rather laid back about it all. I am getting used to who I am and have always been. I am reflective by nature so that helps and retired so have the time. 

    I have started being far more direct with my partner and this has not been easy for either of us. However, we are getting to a better place and both benefitting. 

    I suspect that the 70+ years of masking is very ingrained and is going to to be hard to fix. I still haven't figured where the boundary of masking and say being introverted start and stop. I think I may need help with this.

Children
No Data