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introducing myself

Miles

Hi 

I am new here. I don’t officially have an autism diagnosis, but I am pretty sure that I am, and I have been on a waiting list to get one for more than two years. I don’t know what difference it would make knowing that I am autistic or not. And part of me wouldn’t trust a negative diagnosis anyway. I feel like I am in a weird limbo of not knowing - well, I think I know.

I work with autistic people, and over the years, I have done quite a bit of training, and the more I find out about it, the more it seems to fit. Reading through some of the threads on this forum, I can definitely relate to much of it. 

I am in my early 50s, so it is very odd coming to terms with the idea of being autistic at this stage in my life.  It leaves me questioning much of what I thought I knew, and coming to understand some of the struggles that I have faced in my life through this new lens. I  have lived with anxiety and depression for a long time.  I also find that I have very limited energy, which can easily be depleted, especially in social situations or in overwhelming environments. There are many other things I could list: I find change very unsettling, I struggle to make friends, I have quite obsessive interests in very specific things, etc... 

 

Regards 

Miles

 

Parents

  • Hello Miles, 

    I hope you enjoy your time here.

    I thought my assessment would explain the past, people's attitudes, my anxiety and depression, a lifetime of regular 2-3 year meltdowns, walking out of jobs, etc., etc. And yes, of course it did. Then I realised that it didn't really matter that much, as it was more to do with other people's attitudes, issues and problems. By the way, I have had wonderful bosses, too.  

    For me (I appreciate it may be different to extremely different, for others) learning about myself has been far more meaningful and life affirming than explaining the past attitudes of others. Ultimately and honestly, I am not really that interested in other people and particularly their attitudes,  It is my wiring.  

    So, I had read about people with autism and none of it really fitted me. What really was wonderful, worthwhile about my assessment and is still making me buzz, is the solving of so many of the questions I had about myself.  Very simply, I function primarily through my senses & pattern recognition  and they are acutely sensitive and very important.  So, I am not always very logical but intuitive.  

    For me, the past is very much a stranger. Unbeknownst to me, so was I, but we are working on that!  

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  • Hello Miles, 

    I hope you enjoy your time here.

    I thought my assessment would explain the past, people's attitudes, my anxiety and depression, a lifetime of regular 2-3 year meltdowns, walking out of jobs, etc., etc. And yes, of course it did. Then I realised that it didn't really matter that much, as it was more to do with other people's attitudes, issues and problems. By the way, I have had wonderful bosses, too.  

    For me (I appreciate it may be different to extremely different, for others) learning about myself has been far more meaningful and life affirming than explaining the past attitudes of others. Ultimately and honestly, I am not really that interested in other people and particularly their attitudes,  It is my wiring.  

    So, I had read about people with autism and none of it really fitted me. What really was wonderful, worthwhile about my assessment and is still making me buzz, is the solving of so many of the questions I had about myself.  Very simply, I function primarily through my senses & pattern recognition  and they are acutely sensitive and very important.  So, I am not always very logical but intuitive.  

    For me, the past is very much a stranger. Unbeknownst to me, so was I, but we are working on that!  

Children
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