Hi,
I don’t know what it is entirely, but I always leave things to the last minute, then act on it. I struggle so much with preparation. I enjoy preparation when planning, but sometimes plan very idealistically and then when it doesn’t go perfect to plan, my mind will reject the plan and try to wing it. I then leave feeling confused, and try to plan again.
Im really frustrated at myself as I have role models who have encouraged me for good time keeping and organisation, but I struggle to practically keep up with things. In my mind, I feel messy, and my room is often messy.
i only learnt of executive dysfunction two years ago, but I really don’t want to be like this. I always wish in my mind that I could be like my organised friends, who have things so well organized. It’s like I deliberately make life hard for myself.
these days I forget so easily things that need sorting. And then I only react when it gets closer to the time. And then I rush and then get through the thing, which reinforces the bad behaviour of leaving things to the last minute.
As a freelancer, I am nervous that I’m ruining my reputation, and that I need to get things together. I’m also concerned about my future and getting help on this! I really want to get better but feel so overwhelmed.
its my brothers birthday today and somehow it didn’t click in me to sort out his card. I still haven’t written it. Luckily he was born near midnight, and so I will give it to him on his actual birth time haha.
some advice and perspective would be really helpful :)
