Confused- mixed emotions

Hi. 

I was [mis] diagnosed with bipolar in 1998. The assessment was as rigorous as popular magazine quiz! It was as if they needed to diagnose bipolar to hit a target. I was in those days, to use their horrible word, compliant. So twenty years of my life were destroyed by anti psychotics I never needed.

They mistook my autistic meltdowns for hypo/mania, and shutdowns for depression. But they failed to note my events lasted a day at the most, not weeks as per DSM and ICD. 

I made a fourth and nearly successful attempt on my life in 2022 and after a&e had got me back I was sent to an inpatient psychiatric unit again. Fortunately this time someone joined the dots correctly and referred me for assessment for autism. 

This assessment took a day and half and did confirm Autism Spectrum Condition. It was just three weeks from leaving the psych unit. 

I used the diagnosis documentation to challenge the psychiatric team and succeeded in getting the bipolar removed and replaced on my records with ASC. Thay would not accept liability though nor offer any apology, I regard those twenty years as institutional abuse and have been subsequently diagnosed with c-ptsd. 

Alice

Hi Katja and welcome to the community!

You might find it helpful to compare the traits that you've noticed in yourself with those detailed in these NAS resources, which explain the main signs / symptoms / characteristics of autism. They might also help you to identity and note down any additional things that you recognise:

NAS - What is autism?

NAS - Signs that a child or adult may be autistic

This article might also be helpful in that respect:

NAS - Autistic women and girls

It includes, for example:

"Autistic characteristics in women and girls may differ from those of other autistic people. They might seem to have fewer social difficulties than autistic men and boys, but this could be because they are more likely to 'mask' their autistic traits (though the stress of doing so can result in anxiety and overwhelm)"

Also, this article discusses bipolar disorder in the context of autism:

NAS - Bipolar disorder

This article explains how to get assessed:

NAS - How to request an autism assessment

It's from the NAS's diagnosis hub, which covers all stages of the process.

For those who live in England, it also includes information about requesting an assessment via Right to Choose (which enables access to private providers who might have shorter waiting lists than the NHS, but with your referral and assessment still fully funded by the NHS).

The NAS articles include links to some screening questionnaires that you can complete, to get a better idea of whether your suspicions are correct. But you might prefer to use the website below for this. It enables them to be completed online (with scores calculated for you), saved as PDFs and - if the results support your suspicions and you decide to seek a formal diagnosis - printed off to take with you to the GP.

The AQ-10 or AQ-50 seem to be the most frequently used / required by GPs in support of NHS referrals. (RAADS-R might also be helpful, but recent research has thrown doubt on its clinical validity as a self-report screening tool).

Embrace Autism - screening tests

In respect of ADHD, you can find similar information and advice here:

AdultADHDUK - FAQ about ADHD

ADHDUK

NAS - Related conditions

Finally, just a quick refresher on terminology, along with a link to a useful article on autism and neurodiversity:

"It is common for words related to neurodiversity to be misused. For example, people might say ‘Autistic people are neurodiverse’ when they mean ‘Autistic people are neurodivergent’.

Examples of accurate phrases include:

• Humans are neurodiverse.
• Autistic people are neurodivergent.
• Autism is a form of neurodivergence."

NAS - Autism and neurodiversity