Hi…im not quite sure how to start but my ND husband of 22 years and I are really struggling at the moment and I feel so sad and lonely.
When I met him 23 years ago he was totally different…intelligent, professional career , loving and very demonstrative and we fell head over heels. At that point he had not been diagnosed but I did see he could sometimes be very intense but that was part of the attraction.
After 7 years he suddenly disappeared with no warning signs…after 16 days the police traced him but although we met to talk he did not want to come home. He lived away for 4 months before deciding to come home and the last 15 years have been challenging….i had breast cancer in 2019/2020 but luckily still clear bit I know if was tough for him too…
He eventually decided to see someone who he still sees from time to time and this led to a diagnosis which has been a help but it’s also now something he uses to excuse poor behaviour too.
i love him totally but I feel so sad and lonely - I try so hard to be supportive and patient and understand his situation but I am so scared to say anything as he will turn it around to me. Last week we were driving back from a lovely day out and had to avoid a car on the motorway who veered towards us and he absolutely exploded in anger and erratically drove off screaming which frightened me …I just said please don’t…and now he refuses to ever drive me anywhere again and our short break next week is in question unless I drive myself and he will drive separately….i am at my wits end i dont know what to do or say now….
Im feeling so low and just want to be able communicate how I feel without being made to feel always at fault…I know he cannot help how he feels bit but we need to try to communicate do much better
