Late Diagnosis of ADHD and Autism

Hey, I understand a lot of what you are feeling. I am 45 and have only recently been diagnosed with both autism and ADHD. For me, the diagnoses have been—and still are—both a blessing and a challenge.

For the first time, I understood that I was not broken, crazy or inadequate. For most of my life, I struggled with how people perceived me. I went through different therapies and counselling, but somehow nobody—including the person closest to me—was able to explain what was happening inside me.

The answer eventually came from the most unexpected place. My daughter was diagnosed when she was seven, and this led me to begin my own very long process of assessment, diagnosis and finding the right medication.

Gradually, things started becoming clearer. ADHD medication helped me begin finishing some of the projects I had spent my life starting. Journalling has also been one of the most helpful things for me. I now write every day about situations, how I felt, what I did, what other people did, and the facts of what actually happened. I then try to understand the deeper patterns behind my reactions and relationships.

CBT reframing techniques have been particularly useful. I use an NHS programme called SilverCloud, which has helped me reconsider some of my experiences and gradually remove the shame and stigma I had attached to them.

I will not bore you with the three-dimensional, fully interactive , with movable nodes representing each post, map of my mind, with diagnostic section, and statistical analisis, that can compare different time frames:) haha that I created—but I genuinely had fun making it!

Most importantly, I now feel closer to myself than I ever have before. I am more compassionate, understanding and less judgemental towards myself. I am beginning to understand who I am and which values and virtues genuinely matter to me.

Those values were always present, but I did not previously have the confidence to stand up for what I believed was right or wrong. I often treated other people’s opinions as more important than my own.

This process has taken time. Some of my relationships have changed, and I have had to establish stronger boundaries with people who found it difficult to accept the changes in me. The same has been true at work.

But the main lesson I have learned is simple: there is something valuable inside you that may have been misunderstood or hidden for a very long time. Your diagnosis does not change who you are—it gives you a new way of understanding who you have always been.  

Now it is time to discover that person. :) - (do small steps, trippy-toe ) 

You're most welcome! 

Hi Bunny! 

Thank you for your information, will have a look, at the links for the books too. 

And thank you for the welcome too =). 

John 

Hi John - congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community! 

There are plenty of other late-diagnosed people here, so you're in good company!

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months, and others covering the kinds of support that you can access. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

NAS - After diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistic people, and has articles including:

• How will I feel after receiving an autism diagnosis?
• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

In respect of better understanding what's going on in your brain, there's also a great set of resources here that cover the various different aspects of autism:

NAS - What is autism?

Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

Before arranging anything, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)