Hi everyone,
my 5 year old daughter is showing signs of autism, at school she is doing really well and seems to be brilliant at masking her autism. I had a chat with her teachers and they said she isn't showing signs of autism and she wouldn't be able to hide it. I think the teachers are basing this on children at the school who show signs of autism and are comparing this to my daughter.
I have seen signs of autism and often these are at home, my daughter can't leave the house without something a toy or a soft toy, often it is a few items and she has others as well. I have spoken to a few professionals, and they agree with me that my daughter is possibly autistic, because she often tick all the behaviours of autism, she is very good at masking at school. When she comes home it is like she needs to unburden herself and like she breathes a sigh of relief, because her home with me is her safe space and it's like she can relax.
I am worried that I won't be believed because she is good at masking so well and I know girls are excellent at masking. I have spoken to some other parents who have autistic children and as soon as I said I think my daughter is autistic, they have said yes I see signs and traits in her too, but I didn't want to say anything because it might have upset you.
My daughter has struggled with parties that she has been invited to and although she hasn't wanted to leave I could see that she struggled with the fact there were lots of children and she was not wanting to miss out. It is often when we leave that the meltdown happens and when she was 2 I stopped taking her to the park because the meltdown when it was time to leave was actually really overwhelming for me to handle.
My worry is if she is very good at masking at school then how do I get someone to listen to me? I know it can take a few years to get a diagnosed, but this is important for her education because she isn't going to display the traits of autism if she is good at masking them. School can be hard for kids and with the added social pressures of school I am worried she won't get the support she needs because their perception of autism doesn't fit my daughter.
Has anyone experienced this and advice would be welcome, I have managed to cope and we have found little ways to manage her anxiety and we have found what works for us. We have very set routines and we manage when we have to attend appointments and I have to tell my daughter weeks in advance because they is no way she would cope if I didn't, it would probably be overwhelming for her and the meltdown would be epic.
I think just getting this off my chest and connecting with other parents who are feeling the same as me would make me feel less alone. It seems so overwhelming to me because I am just starting this journey, even though I have been on this journey since she was born, but now seeking help and advice and it can be hard to know where to start because I have no idea where to go to ask for help. If my daughter had something like a broken arm I would know exactly what to do but with autism I have no idea and the feeling of being overwhelmed is hard. I feel like I am on my own with no one to ask how did you start this journey.
Thank you for reading. Jenny