Just diagnosed and feel like I’m going backwards

Hi all,

I was diagnosed with Autism on Monday and even though it will take a while to process, I do feel hope for my future in terms of understanding myself for the first time; but at the moment, I’m just exhausted and it feels never ending. Unable to do basic chores, eating food out the packet - I never really feel hungry anyway. Washing my hair is even harder than normal and I hate the feeling of freshly washed hair next to my face on a good day. 


I’m a 49 year old female and I’d really love to connect with other Autistic people. It would be great to hear how others cope. I have a lot yet to learn but I’m grateful that I don’t have to feel so alone on this planet anymore.


I struggle to rest and end up in a scroll hole on my phone, which I can’t seem to stop once I’m in, even though I know it will exhaust me further. Although on the plus side, I do think I’m feeling a little more self accepting.

Apologies if I’m rambling on and for any typos. I’ve been editing and re reading this for far too long now Upside down

Anyway, thanks for having me on here Blush and I hope to hear back. 

Parents
  • Hi, I’m in a bit of a state of overwhelm and exhaustion myself so it’s hard for me to write anything interesting right now, but just wanted to say, I’m 48 female and just been diagnosed and I too am feeling like you. Also discovering that some people are not willing or interested to understand or anything positive so here we are still masking, feeling like I’m out here managing on my own in my own world. We just have to accommodate our selves with our own needs. I’ve discovered a lady on You Tube called Mom on the Spectrum. One of her videos today was about late diagnosed females / burnout / why all of a sudden we feel more of the autism differences we have always lived with but managed to over ride. Great to watch. Anyway Hi and I hope you are doing OK

  • Hi Blush

    Good to read your message. I really hear you. It’s great to hear from females of a similar age who are in the same boat. It is really difficult feeling so alone and misunderstood.

    Hope we can all chat more. It has made me feel less alone already having identification with others. 

    I had a better day today but probably because I had a quiet day to myself. Managed to make a healthy meal and do a bit of creative writing. 

    Still feel like I don’t really know who I am. Sometimes I do. Then sometimes I wonder if I’m just operating on autopilot.

    Still overthinking even writing on this forum. My head wonders if I’m doing it right and I think- I hope I’m not making it all about me- those kinds of thoughts. 

    I guess it will all take time :-)

  • Sounds like the perfect day you should try and accommodate more of that becuase your brain and nervous system likes it. 

    So relatable, I’m the same writing on here over think it and think I’m talking about myself all the time. Apparently this is another spectrum thing, so when your in conversation with someone, we tend to share information and knowledge, rather than surface level small talk. 

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend hoping you feel a bit more refreshed smiling face with hearts

  • Good to know you feel the same on that too.

    Thank you. Enjoy your Sunday.

  • Hi Maja,

    Comforting to know about the overthinking etc, that I'm not alone with this either. Makes perfect sense to me to identify by sharing own experiences. Small talk has always baffled me. It feels pointless and it's tiring to even try.

    I'd love a cat - they are magical. 

    Enjoy your Sunday :-)

  • Pets are always the best company! Enjoy Blush 

  • I too have that worry. So, we're together on this one Hugging

    My greatest relief and co-regulation team are with me a.t.m. ... One cat curled up next to me on each side. (One half on me actually). My safe and happy place. And where I'm always 100% understood. 

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