Newly Diagnosed

Hi all,

My name is Mark and I've been newly diagnosed with Autism at the age of 39. I was also born with epilepsy and throughout my life my family and I always thought my behaviours were down to that, so autism wasn't in our vocabulary until now.

My mind is currently all over the place about who I really am as I feel lost even though from the outside looking in it looks like I have a normal life. I show no emotion and just stay quiet overthinking all day, which has caused me to become distance from the important people around me. Whenever something upsetting happens I just look like I'm not bothered, however inside I'm crying like everyone else.

I've been masking it for so long I don't know how to live without doing that and I'm petrified that once I become my true self that I'll lose everyone as I'm no longer gonna be the person they think I am. This has now lead to me feeling like the world I currently live in is not made for me and I should just call it a day.

I've been with my Mrs 15 years now and we have a 10 year old daughter. However our relationship has always been up and down as I'm not one for showing affection and expressing happiness, so we've fallen out a few times and questioned our compatibility. I feel like a robot that only does stuff when she asks. Suttle hints and body language doesn't register with me, so I've messed up endless amount of times on when something's wrong.

I'm now looking for advice on how to live with autism and educate family/friends on what they could do to help make life easier for them.

Parents
  • Hello Markoski86


    We’re really glad you have joined us. Feeling lost or uncertain at this stage is something many autistic adults describe.

    You mentioned that you feel like the world is not made for you and that you “should just call it a day”. We want to check in and make sure you have the right support in place.

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you or anyone else is at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page. 

    You could call your GP and ask for an urgent appointment – they can help you get the right support.

    If it’s not an emergency but you’re still struggling, speaking to a health professional can help. If your GP is closed, you can call 111 for NHS support.

    In England, Wales and Scotland, you can now choose option 2 to speak directly with mental health professionals: When to use NHS 111. 

    Other free, confidential support includes:

    • Samaritans – Call 116 123, 24 hours a day
    • SANEline – 0300 304 7000 (4.30–10.30pm daily) 
    • Shout – Text 85258, 24 hours a day
    • Mind Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (Mon–Fri, 9am–6pm)

    You’re very welcome to keep talking here as well as many people in the community have been through similar experiences after a later‑in‑life diagnosis and may be able to share what helped them.

    Kind regards,

    Sharon Mod

Reply
  • Hello Markoski86


    We’re really glad you have joined us. Feeling lost or uncertain at this stage is something many autistic adults describe.

    You mentioned that you feel like the world is not made for you and that you “should just call it a day”. We want to check in and make sure you have the right support in place.

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you or anyone else is at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page. 

    You could call your GP and ask for an urgent appointment – they can help you get the right support.

    If it’s not an emergency but you’re still struggling, speaking to a health professional can help. If your GP is closed, you can call 111 for NHS support.

    In England, Wales and Scotland, you can now choose option 2 to speak directly with mental health professionals: When to use NHS 111. 

    Other free, confidential support includes:

    • Samaritans – Call 116 123, 24 hours a day
    • SANEline – 0300 304 7000 (4.30–10.30pm daily) 
    • Shout – Text 85258, 24 hours a day
    • Mind Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (Mon–Fri, 9am–6pm)

    You’re very welcome to keep talking here as well as many people in the community have been through similar experiences after a later‑in‑life diagnosis and may be able to share what helped them.

    Kind regards,

    Sharon Mod

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