Hi everyone,
I’m new here and wanted to introduce myself and ask for some guidance. I’m a parent of an autistic young adult, and my wife and I, his parents, are trying to support him through a very stressful situation at university. None of us are autistic ourselves, and we’re realising how much we still have to learn about autistic experience, rights and what good support should look like.
Our son is a student at university and is currently facing disciplinary action and precautionary restrictions that are having a big impact on his studies, mental health and sense of safety. The university has acknowledged that his disability may be relevant to what’s happening and has even mentioned the possibility of bias because of his race and size, but it still feels as though he is being viewed as a “risk” rather than as a young autistic person who needs understanding and reasonable adjustments. We are trying to advocate for him and seek some sense of justice, but the process is confusing, intimidating and emotionally draining.
This is taking a toll on the whole family. We’re constantly worried about his future, his wellbeing and whether he will be pushed out of education. At the same time, we’re trying to keep on top of letters, policies, appeal deadlines and legal advice. Some days we feel focused and determined; other days we feel overwhelmed, stuck, and unsure what to do next. We know we need support and better information, but it’s hard to know where to start or who to trust.
What we’re hoping to find here is:
- Advice or signposting from autistic adults, parents and carers who have been through university or college disciplinary processes
- Experiences of dealing with institutions that say they are inclusive, but where autistic people still end up feeling unsafe, misunderstood or unfairly treated
- Suggestions for organisations, resources or strategies that helped you with advocacy, reasonable adjustments or challenging discrimination
- Ideas on how to look after yourself and your family emotionally while you’re fighting for a young person in a stressful, often adversarial system
We’re not looking for legal or medical advice – we understand that needs to come from professionals – but we would really value lived experience, practical tips and honest reflections. Right now, we feel quite isolated and worried, and we’re hoping this community might be somewhere we can learn, listen, and feel a bit less alone while we try to support our son.
Thank you for reading, and for any thoughts, experiences or resources you’re willing to share.
