Autism and Neighbour Problems

I think it's going to be difficult not to disclose autism to someone if the problem is autistic behaviours people misunderstand. I wouldn't disclose to the miscreants, though. If they are nasty, more than likely they'll use any disclosure to find new ways of ridiculing you. Definitely you need to seek support.

I would contact your local PCSO [community police officer] - you can do this online. They have greater powers to prevent anti social behaviour under amendments to the Crime and Policing Act 2026. This can include banning people from areas where the victim lives. Do you own your home or rent? If social housing, tell your landlord and ask for a visit by a Housing Officer. You do not need to suffer in silence. If you do nothing, more than likely the behaviours will continue. Meanwhile, be assured - these people are likely to have been bullied themselves and are taking it out on others. Or, they are simply badly educated or have personality problems. Whatever the cause of their behaviour, it is their problem and not your fault! People like this pick on those they believe weak and without support, or else people they envy. It helps to consider this. Focus on joining clubs or hobby interests, get support on here, and find new local friends - if they see you are not alone, this will help prevent you being picked on. Hope this helps.

I would also add, I've successfully dealt with difficult neighbours [bullying] through PCSO and HO's. The police now have specialist disability officers - having autism is classed as being vulnerable, which is a good thing, as it means you get more support and legal backup. I have no hesitation in using my disability to gain this extra support. Life is difficult enough!

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. I have turned to the Police, the Anti Social Behaviour Team at my council and even my MP.  NO ONE will help.  I was treated appallingly by two Police officers who made inappropriate comments to me.  Videos of those involved I sent to an Anti Social Behaviour Caseworker were dismissed and classed as not being evidence.  I then discovered that my MP went behind my back and contacted Social Services about me.  Although I have explained in detail to a Police officer, they just regard me as having a mental health problem.  They do not have any idea how this is affecting me.  As I said, I haven't had a formal diagnosis for Autism, but I have read about meltdowns and shutdowns and I believe this is what I am experiencing.  It is all so stressful that I often have days in bed to try and get away from it all and try to recover.  Last year I was so distressed by it, that I contacted an NHS Mental Health Helpline.  I was advised to "Get Away From These People."  So I understand LucyLandRover when you say you go cycling to get away from the situation.  The other day I went and sat in a churchyard to get away from them all.  It was bliss.

I think one of the problems has come from a Community Safety Officer who believed I was lonely and needed company, so I think they encouraged all these strangers to keep doing welfare checks on me and standing outside, looking into my home.  A delivery driver has admitted to me that there are a group of people who are keeping myself and my home under surveillance 24/7 to ascertain if my property is occupied and if I have visitors.  It is absolutely awful.  I have suffered damage to my garden and property when it seems they presume I am not at home.  It actually feels like a hate crime against me.

They have also set up a game where they will watch me in my garden working and then all go up and down, looking in at the windows.  I shut the blinds because I cannot bear them doing it and they all think it's funny.  I am quite happy to keep the blinds shut all the time, but then they believe the house is empty and I am afraid they will come into the garden and do damage again.

Thanks for your support.  I really appreciate it.

I honestly believe you have issues with bullying, but in my view this has now 'got' to you, so you are interpreting things in the wrong light - ie random innocent people who live near and pass by your home happen to glance in your windows - you immediately interpret this as 'watching' you'. This is commonplace when someone is highly charged and stressed. I know - I've been like this myself twice, after highly stressful events. It is a commonplace reaction and nothing to be ashamed of. Time to look after yourself first.

My advice would be make an appointment with your GP; ask if there is counselling at your surgery or a social prescriber. You can talk freely to these people. We are not allowed on here to give clinical advice, but it seems to me you really need it right now; otherwise you will soon become unwell at this level of intensity. You and a therapist can discuss options and I am sure, that before long you will be able to make a thought-out plan. Meanwhile, avoid the nasties who certainly have problems of their own- nasty people rarely have insight!

I can't write more - perhaps one of the moderators might reiterate this advice!

Thank you for your replies.  It is so good to have a back and forth conversation. I cannot tell you how helpful it is to have others advice and opinion who - I presume (?!) - don't live in my town. I recently contacted a local Facebook Autism group and they have not replied.  

It is a waste of time trying to deal with the Police.  I have been told by a Solicitor that I have grounds for a complaint against them. I wrote to the county's Police Headquarters about five years ago and never received a reply.  

To go back to the beginning, there is a group of individuals who are monitoring myself and my home 24/7.  A few years ago, my GP wrote to both the Police and Social Services to ask if they were safeguarding me and was told they were not.  Therefore if this is true, it is someone else who is behind it.

In the past, I received some legal advice from an online site.  It was suggested that this was being co-ordinated by a person/s.  I have suspicions of a number of people who it could be, but it is trying to ascertain exactly WHO.

Perhaps the community could put their Detective hats on and try and solve this?

One suspicion is a husband and wife who I have know for a long time.  They do not live in my town but stay here a lot and appear to know a lot of people here, including another couple they are close to who are involved in a lot of the town's charities.   I know that Autism can make ascertaining others motives or intentions difficult, and I have now come to learn that this couple pulled the wool over my eyes when they got me involved in a plan of theirs.  On the one hand they were helping me, but on the other, they were helping others who they did not tell me about.  At the time, two of the people involved had a conversation in front of me which was just too coincidental to believe.  I will explain...

Supposing your favourite biscuit was a Custard Cream and the only person who knew that was your husband.  You then visit someone who you don't know and they give you a cup of tea and offer you biscuits.  They say to you:  "Why not have a Custard Cream, aren't they your favourites?"

They have always known about the harassment I have received and a couple of years ago, the husband accused his wife of interfering and I am sure he meant she had been trying to control my life behind the scenes.  She has said other things to me which I have had to question what she has exactly meant by them and at one time she asked my permission to forward my emails to her to one of her friends who lives in my town.  I never gave her permission, but I think she may have done this.  One of the men who kept standing outside my house looking in the windows was known to this friend and when I questioned it, he denied knowing anyone living in my area.  It was a complete lie.

I will leave this post here, but I hope I will be able to continue it, because it would be good to read others thoughts.

Many thanks.

Unknown said:

feels like a hate crime against me.

I'm appalled at the lack of support offered you, which is unusual. First step that I did - get a Ring video camera at the front and later a CCTV camera at the back. Yes, it's a bit pricey but this might put them off. And what on earth is this, 'Community Safety Officer' doing? This sounds a very dodgy strategy and not one I've heard of. Go back to them and tell them the results of their 'intervention' - and what are they going to do about it.

Next step, I would visit the police in person and be more firm. If you need to, escalate to a senior officer and so on - up to the Chief Constable. They might be busy but have to deal with this, which is a criminal offence of harassment. It might help if you do report this as hate crime; they might want such a case for their crime statistics. As to your MP, I would make an appointment for a formal meeting and take it up with him again.

Don't give in. It sounds like a group of immatures who might not realize the impact on you OR that hate crime is a criminal offence. For them, it's just a bit of summer fun - once they get flack for doing it, from any source, it might drive them to find something else to do. Again - don't give in to it!!

Unknown said:

feels like a hate crime against me.

I'm appalled at the lack of support offered you, which is unusual. First step that I did - get a Ring video camera at the front and later a CCTV camera at the back. Yes, it's a bit pricey but this might put them off. And what on earth is this, 'Community Safety Officer' doing? This sounds a very dodgy strategy and not one I've heard of. Go back to them and tell them the results of their 'intervention' - and what are they going to do about it.

Next step, I would visit the police in person and be more firm. If you need to, escalate to a senior officer and so on - up to the Chief Constable. They might be busy but have to deal with this, which is a criminal offence of harassment. It might help if you do report this as hate crime; they might want such a case for their crime statistics. As to your MP, I would make an appointment for a formal meeting and take it up with him again.

Don't give in. It sounds like a group of immatures who might not realize the impact on you OR that hate crime is a criminal offence. For them, it's just a bit of summer fun - once they get flack for doing it, from any source, it might drive them to find something else to do. Again - don't give in to it!!

I honestly believe you have issues with bullying, but in my view this has now 'got' to you, so you are interpreting things in the wrong light - ie random innocent people who live near and pass by your home happen to glance in your windows - you immediately interpret this as 'watching' you'. This is commonplace when someone is highly charged and stressed. I know - I've been like this myself twice, after highly stressful events. It is a commonplace reaction and nothing to be ashamed of. Time to look after yourself first.

My advice would be make an appointment with your GP; ask if there is counselling at your surgery or a social prescriber. You can talk freely to these people. We are not allowed on here to give clinical advice, but it seems to me you really need it right now; otherwise you will soon become unwell at this level of intensity. You and a therapist can discuss options and I am sure, that before long you will be able to make a thought-out plan. Meanwhile, avoid the nasties who certainly have problems of their own- nasty people rarely have insight!

I can't write more - perhaps one of the moderators might reiterate this advice!

Thank you for your replies.  It is so good to have a back and forth conversation. I cannot tell you how helpful it is to have others advice and opinion who - I presume (?!) - don't live in my town. I recently contacted a local Facebook Autism group and they have not replied.  

It is a waste of time trying to deal with the Police.  I have been told by a Solicitor that I have grounds for a complaint against them. I wrote to the county's Police Headquarters about five years ago and never received a reply.  

To go back to the beginning, there is a group of individuals who are monitoring myself and my home 24/7.  A few years ago, my GP wrote to both the Police and Social Services to ask if they were safeguarding me and was told they were not.  Therefore if this is true, it is someone else who is behind it.

In the past, I received some legal advice from an online site.  It was suggested that this was being co-ordinated by a person/s.  I have suspicions of a number of people who it could be, but it is trying to ascertain exactly WHO.

Perhaps the community could put their Detective hats on and try and solve this?

One suspicion is a husband and wife who I have know for a long time.  They do not live in my town but stay here a lot and appear to know a lot of people here, including another couple they are close to who are involved in a lot of the town's charities.   I know that Autism can make ascertaining others motives or intentions difficult, and I have now come to learn that this couple pulled the wool over my eyes when they got me involved in a plan of theirs.  On the one hand they were helping me, but on the other, they were helping others who they did not tell me about.  At the time, two of the people involved had a conversation in front of me which was just too coincidental to believe.  I will explain...

Supposing your favourite biscuit was a Custard Cream and the only person who knew that was your husband.  You then visit someone who you don't know and they give you a cup of tea and offer you biscuits.  They say to you:  "Why not have a Custard Cream, aren't they your favourites?"

They have always known about the harassment I have received and a couple of years ago, the husband accused his wife of interfering and I am sure he meant she had been trying to control my life behind the scenes.  She has said other things to me which I have had to question what she has exactly meant by them and at one time she asked my permission to forward my emails to her to one of her friends who lives in my town.  I never gave her permission, but I think she may have done this.  One of the men who kept standing outside my house looking in the windows was known to this friend and when I questioned it, he denied knowing anyone living in my area.  It was a complete lie.

I will leave this post here, but I hope I will be able to continue it, because it would be good to read others thoughts.

Many thanks.