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Hi there, 50s, maybe autistic and trying to help my son who I think is and is struggling

BleP

Hi there,

Started all this as feel confident that my 7 year old son is ADHD and Autistic and is struggling in many ways, particularly school and friendships. So my main aim is to help on path to a diagnosis and to then get a better understanding of what support we as a family can give him. He's a sweet sensitive chap but feels low esteem and can often get disregulated and I want help him cope better.

In doing this I feel like I may also be autistic and have masked for many years. I did an online assessment for whatever that's worth, but it also makes sense of how I've felt a lot of my life. I feel I've coped fairly well but I find it's helpful to understand myself and my needs and to feel less guilty about the ways I feel different. But I feel like I have coped well, but I'm here to mainly help my son who definitely needs more help, but he just about copes at school whereas others needs are more visible 

Parents

  • Hi, I just wanted to add to Golf23's great suggestion, that another route is sometimes through the school (it's the main way in my area but I think it varies on area). 

    It's a good idea to speak to the school anyway, as for kids to get diagnosed, the school will also have to provide evidence of his struggles there too. Booking an appointment with his teacher is a good way to start thinking about ways to help him too and give you a chance to see if they have concerns, as they often have good knowledge (if his teachers are helpful and have experience with autistic pupils). If they haven't noticed, you can ask them to see what they think and then they might make observations?

    It quite often happens that parents realise they are autistic when researching it for their kids, that happened to me too and now me and my son are diagnosed last year (he was on the waiting lists a while where as I went private). I find it helps to explain it to my kids, as I can relate to them and the things they struggle with. 

Reply

  • Hi, I just wanted to add to Golf23's great suggestion, that another route is sometimes through the school (it's the main way in my area but I think it varies on area). 

    It's a good idea to speak to the school anyway, as for kids to get diagnosed, the school will also have to provide evidence of his struggles there too. Booking an appointment with his teacher is a good way to start thinking about ways to help him too and give you a chance to see if they have concerns, as they often have good knowledge (if his teachers are helpful and have experience with autistic pupils). If they haven't noticed, you can ask them to see what they think and then they might make observations?

    It quite often happens that parents realise they are autistic when researching it for their kids, that happened to me too and now me and my son are diagnosed last year (he was on the waiting lists a while where as I went private). I find it helps to explain it to my kids, as I can relate to them and the things they struggle with. 

Children
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