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Looking forward to meeting some like-minded souls

Beatrice

Hi All,

My daughter and I were both diagnosed Autistic a few years ago. It was really wonderfully to finally feel 'seen' in a way we hadn't been before. Since then, we've been through some ups and downs adapting. She's been great at sharing her diagnosis at school, with varying levels of success. We've enjoyed understanding why we feel the way we do about big crowds, loud noises, sensory overload, etc. I've mourned for the little girl I was who felt so alone at times. I've celebrated my quirky, authentic self. And yet today, I find myself reaching out for like-minded souls online. I realised overnight that I end up the outsider in every social group I've ever joined. I love one-on-one friendships, and maybe that's enough. It's just so frustrating to put so much effort into group friendships that inevitably fall flat. I look forward to connecting and hearing your stories. Best wishes!

  • Hi and welcome to the community. I understand how you feel about groups, I'm the same.

    I am a woman in my mid sixties, retired, and enjoy reading and playing video games.

  • Hi! That sounds so positive! I am also autistic but I was only diagnosed a few years ago at 25. We suspect my mum and dad are both autistic as well (my mum has been super understanding - my dad is super negative about autism etc so I don’t really mention it to him- my parents have been separated since I was very young). I can relate to needing to connect to like-minded people. I didn’t have any friends at secondary school and I felt very isolated at times and also guilty as I felt that I should have tried harder to make friends and fit in. That all changed at university- I met many like-minded people and it was so easy and effortless to make friends with them and I am still close friends with most of these people. It turns out that most are also neurodivergent though I didn’t know that at the time and wasn’t even aware of my own neurodivergence then. I also do best with one to one meetings and I avoid group social situations. I do wish sometimes that I could experience and enjoy group activities and friendships but I just don’t think that’s ever going to be for me. I hope you and your daughter come accross some likeminded people ! It makes such a huge difference. 

  • Good morning from America, Beatrice!

    Like you and Cinnabar_wing, I got my diagnosis around the same time as my daughter. So that’s awesome that you two share that deep connection. You sound like you’re at a good point of reaching peace with yourself, and I am very happy to hear that. I am wishing you the best!

  • Hey Beatrice, that's lovely that you and yoru daughter are exploring diagnosis together. I got diagnosed around the same time as my son -it's great when kids have positive role models of autistic adults so they can see it's okay.  I'm glad she's managing to share at school, and get some positive reactions (as they aren't always, but I think the more young people know, the more it will gain better acceptance as they grow). 

    It's tough for us older diagnosed adults, it just wasn't a thing when I was young, and I didn't even really know what my son's teachers were trying to tell me when they suggested it for him, and it even took a while before I started researching it. But then you see yourself in the stories and it's such a big moment of realising who you are. Friendships can be very hard, and in groups it's so much harder. I am enjoying being able to talk more freely online, I find here a safe space to explore being autistic with others who get it.

    Best wishes!

  • Hi Beatrice, and welcome to the online community!  It's really wonderful to hear that you and your daughter are doing well following your diagnoses and that you have each other for support.  I hope this community can also be a positive space for you!