Hey everyone- I’m new here and parent of a recently diagnosed teenager. Just interested to reach out to other folks in the same position and here about other people’s experiences and get tips on navigating this to support my child.
Hey everyone- I’m new here and parent of a recently diagnosed teenager. Just interested to reach out to other folks in the same position and here about other people’s experiences and get tips on navigating this to support my child.
Hey, it's good to have other parents about. My diagnosed son is going to be 11, so on the cusp of being a teenager and high school after the summer, but not quite there yet. It does help to share experiences and get ideas for parenting!
Thank you - sharing ideas and experiences will be incredibly helpful.
Indeed! How old is your teen?
I also have a girl (9) trying to get on the pathway, though that's proving difficult. Even between them, their needs can be very different, getting it right is always a learning journey!
In Scotland they don't have formal support plans like England, and he didn't get anything from CAMHS apart from the diagnosis and one follow up.
But his primary school are fabulous, his teachers were actively trying to come up with accommodations for him as his processing speed effects his school work a lot (he could do every other math sum for example). Even though he only got diagnosed last year, they've had lots of stuff in place for him for ages, so the diagnosis was mainly to make sure getting help in high school was easier.
It has been hard too, one of his teachers believed he was just misbehaving, even while assisting with the paperwork for the assessment and said he just wasn't trying. I am worried how the teachers will view him in high school and how he'll cope with exams, but we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.
I'm glad your son has got his diagnosis now, the fact that he requested it I think seems to help in accepting they want help, as sometimes parents come on here and talk of their children not accepting it or wanting the help which must make things very tricky.
The first time the school came to me with it, I didn't understand what they were suggesting and declined and just asked for other things to help him. This was in the middle of COVID, and he was the first in the school to get it so I was super stressed with that and didn't want to talk about psychology. Also he was normal to me (I didn't know I was myself autistic at the time), so I didn't see it. Later that not so nice teacher kept having digs at me for 'not being on board' at first, which really hurt. It's hard to know what the right thing to do is all the time, but you keep trying to do the best by them and eventually you get there!
That sounds like a really tough situation. It’s good the school are still trying, CAMHS seems to be struggling everywhere- that’s not an excuse though. I hope you get the support needed for your daughter.
does your son get support?
my son largely manages at school - any bad behaviour or meltdown issues at school were always put down to him being a spoiled child. A few times we were close to having him tested but talked ourselves out of it. In the end he was the one that asked for the test.
We tried though the GP, but we're rejected as there wasn't adequate observations (I hadn't brought her at that point as I just wanted to discuss it, and it's only a 10 minute appointment). We were then told it had to be done through the school (my sister is a health visitor and confirmed doctors can't refer anyone), so the school applied for her and were rejected again. My husband chased it up as we weren't told what we'd done wrong, and eventually managed to speak to someone after a few weeks and was told we had been rejected as we hadn't proved she was struggling with it (as parents we don't know what was said by the doctor or the school). I think CAMHS just doesn't want anyone on the books at the moment to make their waiting lists look bad. The school are still trying at least, so maybe there's still a chance. I don't think they are actually there to help anyone.
We tried though the GP, but we're rejected as there wasn't adequate observations (I hadn't brought her at that point as I just wanted to discuss it, and it's only a 10 minute appointment). We were then told it had to be done through the school (my sister is a health visitor and confirmed doctors can't refer anyone), so the school applied for her and were rejected again. My husband chased it up as we weren't told what we'd done wrong, and eventually managed to speak to someone after a few weeks and was told we had been rejected as we hadn't proved she was struggling with it (as parents we don't know what was said by the doctor or the school). I think CAMHS just doesn't want anyone on the books at the moment to make their waiting lists look bad. The school are still trying at least, so maybe there's still a chance. I don't think they are actually there to help anyone.
In Scotland they don't have formal support plans like England, and he didn't get anything from CAMHS apart from the diagnosis and one follow up.
But his primary school are fabulous, his teachers were actively trying to come up with accommodations for him as his processing speed effects his school work a lot (he could do every other math sum for example). Even though he only got diagnosed last year, they've had lots of stuff in place for him for ages, so the diagnosis was mainly to make sure getting help in high school was easier.
It has been hard too, one of his teachers believed he was just misbehaving, even while assisting with the paperwork for the assessment and said he just wasn't trying. I am worried how the teachers will view him in high school and how he'll cope with exams, but we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.
I'm glad your son has got his diagnosis now, the fact that he requested it I think seems to help in accepting they want help, as sometimes parents come on here and talk of their children not accepting it or wanting the help which must make things very tricky.
The first time the school came to me with it, I didn't understand what they were suggesting and declined and just asked for other things to help him. This was in the middle of COVID, and he was the first in the school to get it so I was super stressed with that and didn't want to talk about psychology. Also he was normal to me (I didn't know I was myself autistic at the time), so I didn't see it. Later that not so nice teacher kept having digs at me for 'not being on board' at first, which really hurt. It's hard to know what the right thing to do is all the time, but you keep trying to do the best by them and eventually you get there!
That sounds like a really tough situation. It’s good the school are still trying, CAMHS seems to be struggling everywhere- that’s not an excuse though. I hope you get the support needed for your daughter.
does your son get support?
my son largely manages at school - any bad behaviour or meltdown issues at school were always put down to him being a spoiled child. A few times we were close to having him tested but talked ourselves out of it. In the end he was the one that asked for the test.