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Seeking Urgent Advice

Marion

Hello everyone,

I’m really hoping someone here might be able to help or share any advice, as we are feeling quite desperate.

My 6-year-old son is autistic and finds change and transitions extremely difficult. Even very small disruptions to his routine can have a serious impact on his mental health and wellbeing.

We are now being forced to move from our home of over 10 years due to the redevelopment of our estate. While we have managed to find a new home, the situation is becoming incredibly distressing for our son. We are already seeing significant and worrying changes in his behaviour, both at home and at school.

We have asked the council if we could remain in our current property for a short period (just a few weeks) after completion, to allow for a gradual transition and help him adjust safely. We have provided supporting letters from his consultant paediatrician and his school’s SEND coordinator, both of whom strongly emphasise the importance of a carefully managed transition.

However, we are a single-income household and simply cannot afford to pay both a mortgage on the new home and rent on our current one. For this reason, we asked if the council could allow us to remain for this short period rent-free (while we continue to pay all utility bills), purely to protect our son during this very vulnerable time.

The building is due to be demolished, so the property won’t be re-let, which is why we hoped some flexibility might be possible.

We are extremely worried about what will happen if we are forced to leave immediately, as this could have a devastating impact on our son’s mental health.

If anyone has been through something similar, or knows of any support, legal rights, or options available to families in this situation, I would be so grateful to hear from you.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

  • When we moved our new home it was not far away and we were able to visit the area, so it became more familiar. We were also able to arrange another visit to the new property before the sale had fully gone through via the agent, so our son could see where he was going. We had to explain that the items belonging to the current occupants would be going and his would be moving with him.

    When we moved from our rented property we had an overlap of two weeks. This enabled us to put essentials in the kitchen and move some of our son's smaller things into his room. On the day we moved we put bedding in bin bags ready to unroll and asked for his bed to be unloaded early on. This meant that his room was ready fairly soon. I wonder if it is possible to arrange even a small overlap?

    Although it took a while to get used to his new home, the thing that caused most concern was what would be at his new home and how much would change. 

  • in reply to profdanger

    Great advice. Thank you so much for your reply and for sharing, I really appreciate it.

  • Good morning from America, Marion.

    My family just went through a big move between states, so my Autistic daughter had to deal with that major change as well. Granted, I don’t think her aversion to changes in routine are quite as severe as your son’s, but it did go well overall.

    One suggestion I have is to focus your son on what is not going to change. Make it clear that certain beloved toys are going along for the trip. Show him a schedule for the new house that has the same steps as you had for the old house. If he has friends in the old neighborhood plan a playdate soon to show that they can still be friends.

    Another thing we did to make our daughter excited for the move was to have her own her new situation. I don’t know if your son will have his own bedroom, but our daughter was moving into her own room, so we let her pick the room and decide where the bed would go etc. Ask him which bathroom is his favorite, where he wants to sit at the table in the new home, which window has the best view, etc. If he feels like he has control over his environment, it might help him to feel more comfortable in the new place.

    I don’t know if that will help, but hopefully that gives you some ideas.