Newly diagnosed at 36 autism and ADHD, let’s chat

Yeah nurturing ourselves that’s what’s really important. I’m only just learning about how sensitive my nervous system is.

Oh wow I’ve just googled your parrot, the colours are amazing and beautiful. Yeah I like to learn from animals and nature too.

I only started to journal a few years ago when things started to get really difficult. I never force myself but generally mornings are my best time for getting my thoughts down on paper, it doesn’t have to make sense or be grammatically correct or anything. I find it’s almost like talking to someone it releases things a bit.

Hope you can give it a try.

Good morning from America, sunlitsoul!

34 year old AuDHD here. When it comes to masking, one thing that has helped me has been making sure my closest coworkers and boss know that I am Autistic. I’m lucky to be surrounded by people that understand. So whenever I shake my hands the receptionist I work closely with knows I’m really stressed out and does what she can to help. My boss also knows that I have some limitations, like not feeling comfortable driving in unfamiliar city limits, so she will often help give me accommodations to ensure I succeed.

So really, the only masking I do at work is around our clients, which I think drastically lowers the spoons it takes for me to function throughout the day.

Hey  it sure does but I’m only just starting to realise that my whole life I thought it was just anxiety and I always thought I was dramatic

I think I will definitely try the boundaries for emotions and step away, thank you ️ 

Aww that’s lovely to think of it like that, and I think protecting that part of you as in nurturing yourself like you are precious because with autism I find we really have such sensitive nervous systems and that’s okay. But to definitely support ourselves in the best way.

it’s sounds like nature and animals bring you a lot of joy. I also love to do the exact same thing, I have a electus green parrot who is still a baby he is my best friend lol. I feel animals also teach you so much… 

it’s great that you journal, do you follow a structured daily journal or simply just writing thoughts? I’ve always been interested in journaling. 

Good morning  sunlitsoul  and thanks for your reply. My steps towards a quieter life have included some mindfulness, doing things more slowly and one at a time, enjoying the rhythm of the day and its little rituals, and starting to resume some interests I had in the past, to see if they still interest me - singing being one. I have been away from work since late November with my burnout so time hasn't been an issue and demands have been less. When I am well enough to go back, I plan to work part time, with workplace adjustments. Most of all, I have helped my fierce inner critic to quiet down so I can hear a more helpful inner nurturer emerging.

Hisunlitsoul and welcome 

sunlitsoul said:

I guess I just want to get to know things about myself and how to live protecting my autistic self as I am a very sensitive human.

This made me think this morning. It’s a different perspective from what I’m used to but I want to try to embrace that feeling more often. We tend to protect things that are precious to us. I want to value my autism.

I am very sensitive too and I find getting out into green spaces vey restorative also being around animals, I have a cat and I help out with my local riding for the disabled, horses just know. I also write my thoughts and feelings down in a journal. 

I think like you being alone helps too we need time and space to process things.

I hope you’re on your way to recovery.

Keep reaching out to us.

Hey, thank you for your kindness I am so excited to be a part of a community like this!! 

I can definitely relate to what you said about post diagnosis, your definitely fully of emotion and also I found that I also felt like maybe they made a mistake how could I have gone all this time not knowing 

you said that you have been working your way to a more quieter life that is authentic? How is that going for you, and have you found more time to maybe focus on hobbies and interests? 

I am very excited to get chatting and understanding with other autism adhd amazing Human!!

thank you leveller61 

You're okay - just wired different. Overload hits hard from noise, change, demands, moods. Protect yourself: dim lights, headphones, silence breaks, say no early, stim freely at home. Mask only when needed - unmask with safe people. Boundaries for emotions: 'Need a minute' or 'Step out.' Rest's your medicine. You're brave for this

Hi sunlitsoul and welcome to our community. Congratulations on your discovery too. I am also AuDHD and was diagnosed last summer at age 59.

My experience post-diagnosis was lots of emotions (validation and relief, but also grief and sadness for my younger self) and an episode of burnout.

I am working my way out of that and towards a quieter and more authentic life, slowly. I have found that learning to be kind to myself and reducing demands have been important parts of getting better.

I understand what you wrote about other people's moods as I am very sensitive to those too, which can be a bit much and at other times can be helpful.

There's lots of good folk on here with good lived experience so have a rummage and hope you feel settled here before long.