hello i am new to this and don't really know how it works i have a 15yr old boy with aspergers and really need some help or advice on whay to do is there anyone who can help me
hello i am new to this and don't really know how it works i have a 15yr old boy with aspergers and really need some help or advice on whay to do is there anyone who can help me
Thank you all for your input i will look into links
the gp won't refer him he has only just been discharged from camhs, and never been through gp only for illnesses. i've always talked to him about everything i've never talked to him as a child. he's probably been rebelious he knows what he does to me he knows he hurts me but his words are "give me what i want and i'll stop", or "i will run away and you can't find me". I think this is one i will have to put up with but again thank you all
pls help said:i wil look into NAS thank you he was under cams sice 6 its them whos closed his file as "theres nothing they can do for him" its behavioural not medical. to be honest i dont know what he knows to be honest he knows hes different but his temper has got too much for me to handle
As i understand it, camhs don't just deal with ASD by doling out medication, they would also provide CBT or other counselling, advice and assistance. Perhaps it may be worth having another referral from your gp?
Doesn't he really need to understand his ASD? Haven't you discussed this with him?
Most 15 year old boys will want to spread their wings by going out with their mates on summer evenings. This doesn't necessarily mean that he will turn into a delinquent. My youngest (not asd) went through this and didn't come to any harm. The worst that happened was he brought home a stop and search notice from the local police! It didn't last long and he didn't get any deeper into trouble. He's now finished a degree and is on to a PhD.
is he just being a rebellious teen or do you think there is something worse going on?
Hi, I've looked into the advice we have around this issue.
As some of the other community members have mentioned, it's important to try & understand what triggers his behaviour.
Please see the following link for further information on behaviour and strategies:
www.autism.org.uk/.../understanding-behaviour.aspx
You may want to seek professional support. You can search for professionals in your area on the Autism Services Directory: www.autism.org.uk/directory
The following link provides information on getting help from social services:
www.autism.org.uk/.../benefits-and-community-care.aspx
Our Autism Helpline can provide information and advice on behaviour and strategies. Please see the following link for further information: www.autism.org.uk/.../specialist-services.aspx We do have a specialist who covers adolescents.
Take care,
Anil
I'm sorry to hear that you feel threatened. You should talk to him about this, he may not realise what effect he is having on you. The violence is attributble to AS, it grows out of living in a world populated with persons armed with social weapons (the ability refute the validity of an opinion, to express scorn and contempt and to cause to social unit to form to support this) the AS child deosnt have, a world in which it is considered accaptable to weild such weapons. In such a world, anger and violence easily becomes a persons only means of self-defence. Given more effective means of pressing his case in the normal social paradigm, he may reduce the tendancy for violence.
I think one of the key issues here is the balance between control and persuasion. You can't control him the same as when he was a child but you can still talk to him, more as an adult, and try to let him discover what the right answer is. His ASD is part of this as we are often resistant to being told what to do. We are, however, susceptible to logic and this may be an approach that you need to emphasise now that he is changing from a child to an adult.
its hard to explain sorry, its all towards me because i wont let him do what ever he wants i.e stay out all night roam streets etc he hasnt hit me but to be honest he quite scares me, i have always been able to matain control and restrain him in the past till hes calm, but am a lot older hes stronger and towers above me i now have less restraint or control. i can calm him down eventually but its taking longer. i'm hoping its just a phase and will stop i was hoping there were ppl on here with kids similar ages that can help tell me if its part of the asd
you refer to him showing signs of violence. Has he had meltdowns before? Is that the kind of violence? Is he hitting out at people? Or is he expressing violent thoughts, possibly influenced by videos/on-line games.
He is now 15 and pressures to perform well academically clash with pressure to conform with peers, but with AS the latter is difficult and he may be being bullied or ostracised. So his behaviour may reflect increased external stresses and anxieties. That could well induce changes at that age.
Hitting out is sometimes a response to extreme environmental stress, which may worsen because of worry and anxiety. Even someone with good speach will experience frustration at social communication problems, and hitting out may be an expression of this.
Intense low self esteem and negative thoughts could make him more intensely focussed on websites and films, and he might look for role models from them rather than the real world in which he can no longer compete.
i wil look into NAS thank you he was under cams sice 6 its them whos closed his file as "theres nothing they can do for him" its behavioural not medical. to be honest i dont know what he knows to be honest he knows hes different but his temper has got too much for me to handle
NAS run a helpline. It's probably worth calling them as they will know the system.
your GP can refer him to specialist services (camhs child and adolescent mental health services) who can provide appropriate assistance.
what does your son understand about ASD? Does he understand that it is a condition but that it isn't a mental illness?
i didnt prompt a diagnosis school did he showed signs of something wrong at around 6 but at the time i had an older son with ADD so very much in denial eventually he was diagnosed at 11 and i've done pretty well with him. My problem is hes now 15 and showing signs of violence an thinks he can leave home n lifes grand. Hes on no medication now under no doctors and i have no one to help me
Welcome,
Different people are affected quite differently, some are severely disabled by their condition and others can deal with the world with a little help and guidance. What problems does he have? What prompted you to get him diagnosed?
