Likely but not likely

There can be days when everything seems to trigger or dredge up emotions. 

Last night I went to a residents meeting, which was quite cordial when I left the meeting with two people one of whom I knew she proceeded to berate me for no reason in a gaslighting kind of way. For me this feels like stress and raises the cortisol levels - even into today. It bothers me because I am not confrontational mostly but people often do this to show they want to be in control. It makes me realise the kind of people I want around which is largely few at all. Even people I know can be influenced by outer circles which bother me.

Having one friend is fine, you only need one. Although I am sure if you really think about it and the people close to you you have more.

Had another thought - I suspect that a deeper issue to this is the understanding of what it is that friends are with one another and what they do together.

Thinking about your excellent question further I am inclined to suggest that there are different sorts of friendships and the drivers for and nature of engagement in this varies - both from friendship to friendship and within that friendship.

Since such things might not, for whatever reason, come so easily either for autistic people generally, individual autistic people and then the circumstances that they are in.

I have not experienced being sectioned - the closest I have been to it reading and watching "one flew over the cuckoos nest", watching "the five monkeys" and a close family relationship.  I also understand a little bit about how much of mental health is a social construct determined and moderated by social norms...  I wondered if there might be anyone in the environment you are in at present to become friends with, then realised that might be me.

So the answer from this perspective Blessedarethecheesemakers , is that I wonder if for people like us it might be worth asking yourself and others what friendship is...  That could be a good question to raise for discussion.  Perhaps you could do that for yourself and others in this group?

Best Wishes

Is there an autism support group in your area, could be a good starting point for you to met people or if your ready joining a adult education class to learn a new skill

Hi Blessedarethecheesemakers 

Hmmm...

One since schooldays.  long time ago now - 

Shared interests - they are ASD too.

Honest answer mostly as friends of my wife.  Our union a lucky co-incidence through a shared hobby.

I am by nature a very solitary animal.

I enjoy communicating with people on here however the relationship tho' frank and honest is not the same as I understand as friendship.

I also think of our family dogs as friends.

Hope that your feeling better soon and soaring upwards.

Lonehare12 said:

Oh I think you might like cheese.

Or is it the name of a band or somethin

It's from Monty Python

m.youtube.com/watch

I like cheese too.

Well said, Lonehare12  And when you make one more friend that's a 100% increase. I find that friendship sort of emerges from finding things in common with someone and, over time, sharing experiences and building trust. It helps sometimes to keep the pressure off yourself and just see what happens. This community will help. The more you can accept and have compassion for yourself, the easier things will get. Take good care and hope you feel better before long.

Oh I think you might like cheese.

Or is it the name of a band or something 

Anyway I love cheese too

HiBlessedarethecheesemakers 

Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear you are having a tough time.

It’s tough looking back and accepting who we are…taking the mask off a little… but it will become easier as we find people who are willing to accept and understand us. You’ve found the right place to start, I also meet with an autistic group a couple of times a month to do various activities. I find these spaces more gentle and forgiving.

You have one friend already which is good. 

Keep taking small steps.

You are not alone

Sending warm wishes your way