Newly diagnosed 29 y/o woman, struggling to accept

Hi everyone, I’m new here and hoping for some guidance.

I was diagnosed with autism on Tuesday through the Right to Choose pathway with Clinical Partners. The assessments themselves felt thorough, but the actual diagnosis was delivered in a very blunt five‑minute phone call. I asked a few follow‑up questions but the responses were short, and I was told my report will take 2–4 weeks to reach my GP. It’s left me feeling like I’ve been handed this huge piece of news with no support or direction.

Even though I suspected autism for a while, the diagnosis has hit me in a way I didn’t expect. I keep finding myself wondering if I somehow said the wrong things in the assessments, or if they misinterpreted me. It feels strange to have this label that’s supposedly been part of me my whole life, yet right now it doesn’t feel like it “fits” or belongs to me. I can’t seem to sit with it — I feel numb, confused, shut down, and unsure how to cope or what to do next.

If anyone is willing to share how you processed your diagnosis, what helped you in the early days, or anything you wish you’d known at the start, I’d really appreciate it.

Parents
  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

    Following diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about having an explanation for our difficulties, this can include working through a phase where we experience changing mixes of confusion, uncertainty, so-called "imposter syndrome", and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving, and more. So please don't worry - it's normal! 

    As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey, rather than providing solutions for my difficulties.

    When your report comes through, it will hopefully include some suggestions and recommendations. In the meantime, theNAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistics

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS.

    Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

Reply
  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

    Following diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about having an explanation for our difficulties, this can include working through a phase where we experience changing mixes of confusion, uncertainty, so-called "imposter syndrome", and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving, and more. So please don't worry - it's normal! 

    As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey, rather than providing solutions for my difficulties.

    When your report comes through, it will hopefully include some suggestions and recommendations. In the meantime, theNAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistics

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS.

    Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

Children
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