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Hello!

SparkleMane

Hello everyone!

I signed up a little while ago however I found it too daunting to post. I was diagnosed in June 2024 after years of speculation. I always suspected there was something different from a very young age, however I was told it was simply anxiety. 

I struggled at school socially which has led to lifelong issues surrounding my self-esteem. I was bullied throughout school for my mannerisms, my interests and the way I looked. However, because I performed well academically, I was labelled as gifted and quirky despite my declining mental health. I had multiple breakdowns as a teenager and a young adult which were explained away as extreme anxiety and perfectionism. 

When I graduated university, I began working as a special needs teaching assistant which is where my journey of diagnosis began. I saw aspects of myself in the students and started to research extensively. I realised my extreme sensitivity to light and noise isn’t typical, that not everyone scripted and practised conversations in the mirror. My entire life I felt like an alien trying to comprehend human behaviour. My diagnosis helped me realise I wasn’t broken or “inhuman” after all. 

Something more positive about me. My lifelong special interest is horses. Not necessarily riding but I love horse care and learning about breeds of horse. I was the horse girl of the class growing up and I continue to be known as the horse obsessed relative/friend. Alongside this, ghosts have been a prominent special interest of mine. My favourite film is Ghostbusters and I have been known to watch it up to three times a day if possible. I don’t know if anyone else relates to having a comfort character but mine is Egon Spengler Sweat smile Growing up I didn’t have friends so I adopted fictional characters instead. He’s faithfully stuck around for over two decades now and I suspect not going away anytime soon. I have a multitude of interests including art and insects but I thought I’d focus on the main two. 

Thank you for letting me ramble and share bits and bobs about myself! 

Sparkle x 

Parents

  • Hi Sparkle, how lovely to meet you! Sparkles 

    I can relate a lot to the bullying at school and just focusing on academics instead -it's a painful and lonely path to tread. It does help to know that you are actually fine, it's just the way your brain is wired and watching Ghostbusters several times a day is actually a great way of regulating yourself! Great movie, and I love how Egon has been a steady constant in your life, I really get that idea! 

    Horses are very graceful, I'm more a wildlife person, but horses are one of those animals that are wonderful to try draw!  Welcome!

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Lovely to meet you too! 
    Funnily enough, the lady who assessed me for my diagnosis said the exact same about Ghostbusters being a regulation tool Laughing 

    It’s difficult to explain to people who aren’t neurodivergent or don’t understand neurodivergency. Luckily my family and friends try their best to understand. My mum was known for putting it on the telly when l was in a state of near crisis. But, whatever works woman shrugging Sweat smile 

  • in reply to SparkleMane

    That's brilliant that your mum recognised how beneficial it was, finding things that help settle our emotions can make a real difference! 

    I do like moths too, their names are poetry and they are so varied and beautiful. I got a t-shirt with moths on last year. I got a bunch of wildlife ones, but that is one of my favourites! (there are 10 species on it, including the cinnabar)

  • in reply to SparkleMane

    Here it is, I took a shot, then helped it out the window. You are definitely right, people think moths and only think of the tiny house ones, but they are so varied and amazing and can out shine butterflies (though I do like them too). 

    I think I would be so excited to see a red underwing too, probably wanting to squeal and wriggle my fingers, but also not wanting to scare it! 

    And all elephant hawk moth! Very very envious, I've seen a poplar hawk moths a few times, plus a cocoon in the garden! They aren't as colourful, but they look like they are wearing little grey fuzzy jackets! 

    Carpets and their ilk are all tricky, I can't normally tell which is which. I have a field guide of macro moths, so the info is all in abbreviations, I could do with a larger volume. 

    Clear wings look amazing, though being able to successfully identify them would also be hard I reckon!

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Yes, I love brimstones if you have the photo! They’re so pretty. 

    Yellow underwings are common in my garden when they’re in flight so when I got the red underwing it felt like seeing a unicorn Laughing 

    I agree on dark arches, once moths start having similar colours and pattern variations, they can become a bit of a headache! I find common carpets easy to mix up with say a balsam carpet. 

    I was fortunate enough to find an elephant hawk-moth as a teenager. When people say UK moths are tiny and drab, I show them one of those. 

Reply
  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Yes, I love brimstones if you have the photo! They’re so pretty. 

    Yellow underwings are common in my garden when they’re in flight so when I got the red underwing it felt like seeing a unicorn Laughing 

    I agree on dark arches, once moths start having similar colours and pattern variations, they can become a bit of a headache! I find common carpets easy to mix up with say a balsam carpet. 

    I was fortunate enough to find an elephant hawk-moth as a teenager. When people say UK moths are tiny and drab, I show them one of those. 

Children
  • in reply to SparkleMane

    Here it is, I took a shot, then helped it out the window. You are definitely right, people think moths and only think of the tiny house ones, but they are so varied and amazing and can out shine butterflies (though I do like them too). 

    I think I would be so excited to see a red underwing too, probably wanting to squeal and wriggle my fingers, but also not wanting to scare it! 

    And all elephant hawk moth! Very very envious, I've seen a poplar hawk moths a few times, plus a cocoon in the garden! They aren't as colourful, but they look like they are wearing little grey fuzzy jackets! 

    Carpets and their ilk are all tricky, I can't normally tell which is which. I have a field guide of macro moths, so the info is all in abbreviations, I could do with a larger volume. 

    Clear wings look amazing, though being able to successfully identify them would also be hard I reckon!