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Autism burnout

Charlotte1975

I’m 50 and about to get my diagnosis. It’s been indicated I most definitely am and there’s no doubt in my mind I’m autistic, I’ve suspected for years I am. 

Up until a few weeks ago, I was managing life and masking. As I am now in menopause, my life has significantly been impacted. I enter dysregulation due to sensory overload, when there are any changes to my routine, or when something stressful happens. It’s awful. My world has become very small and I’m trying headphones and different strategies and trying to work out what I can and can’t do. 
My official diagnosis isn’t due until the end of March, and meanwhile I feel lost.  My GP agrees it sounds like burnout and I’m unable to work. There’s not much advice on how to recover and of course I’m worried about the future. 
Any help or advice would be really helpful. 

  •    Heart️Heart️ I really appreciate your share. I too am 50, diagnosed ADHD in October 25, and waiting on Autism referral. My autism has been screaming out to be free for years, I now realise. I think the ADHD persona felt more acceptable, if that makes sense. I had 2 periods of burn out in my 40’s, put down to depression and anxiety … and ‘life events’. The most recent one in 2024 year was for alcohol addiction. Oh the shame! but spending 4 weeks in hospital, helped me understand why this had become a coping mechanism for me. PS no-one at this point suggested to me I that I might be neurodivergent. Clearly I’m strong at masking!! What I’ve discovered so far is - headphones are brilliant, so are stimming fidgets…and quiet space from the ‘noise’. All those requirements, still feel weird to me. I also found in certain circumstances it’s really important to feel able to say/indciate ‘I am autistic, so you will need to adjust to me right now!’ - not literally you understand, although maybe Thinking I was in minor injuries a few weeks ago for an X-ray and I could feel my cognitive processing jamming up, with all the questions and instructions, and noisy, bright waiting rooms. It led to my first proper shutdown and mutism. Recovering well, but realising I need support. Hence, I joined the community today. One thing I have learnt is to plan ahead, reduce what you hope to do by half at least and create time in the day to decompress - if you don’t plan for that…your body will do it for you!! Just finished a fantastic book which helped me too - ‘The autistics guide to self-discovery’ by Sol Smith. Safe travels x

  • in reply to NeuroDiverse_Goose

    that's a meltdown

    autistic burnout takes significantly longer to develop and run its course than a meltdown

  • Hi and welcome to the community!

    Alongside ongoing support from your GP, you might find these NAS resources helpful:

    NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

    NAS Professional Practice - Understanding autistic burnout

  • i had a major burnout 2 days ago too many bright lights, loud noises and strange smells, leading to me litterally crying and refusing food

  • Yeah it’s difficult to come back to life and to recover after severe burnout - you just need to try and put yourself into a supportive environment and hopefully they will have awareness that it won’t happen over night it takes time to recover and they shouldn’t have high expectations of you during that time 

  • Hi  

    I found my way to this site a few years ago under similar circumstances - you have my empathy.

    I have so far distilled an answer to your question as:

    To "survive burnout phoenix-style" means to recover and rise from it by first prioritizing rest and self-care, then setting realistic expectations and boundaries, seeking support from others, and finally reflecting on and reassessing your goals to rebuild a more balanced life that aligns with your values. This process takes time and involves self-reflection, reconnecting with passions, and celebrating small wins to find renewed joy and meaning.

    I suspect that you might be going through a total re-appraisal of your life and how you live it if your realisation of being autistic comes to you as it came to me and others.  I felt lost as heck, completely lost my sense of self and likewise worried about future.

    Personally I am at the stage of working out how not to respond to life from a perspective of being in "survival mode" for many years and how to emerge from it into something else.  This is tricky as one has to acknowledge an element of diasability in terms of how one lives in a neurotypical society and perhaps how vulnerable one is in context.  I find this personally hard as being at a low point to then realise that one might not be as capable in some areas as one might imagine can add insult to injury.

    What you can do and cannot do will perhaps rely upon developing a sense of where you personally are on almost a moment to moment basis of where you are in relationship to your Window of Tolerance - Autism Understood perhaps.  Perhaps you might have a look at that link and respond with if that makes any sense to you?

    best wishes

  • Music and sensory things are useful, I just limit myself to what I have to do - small things. Don't even go out if you don't feel right. Interaction with the wrong people can be the biggest cause for me.

  • in reply to profdanger

      thanks so much for the link to the book, I’ve ordered it so hopeful it helps. 

  • Good morning from America, Charlotte!

    Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of experience with burnout yet, but I am reading a book you might find interesting. https://www.amazon.com/Autistic-Burnout-Workbook-Personal-Recovery/dp/1507223064 The Autistic Burnout Workbook by Dr. Megan Neff. It’s written by a doctor who happens to be neurodivergent as well. I’ve only scratched the surface of it and it seems like a good read. Maybe give that a go?

    I can imagine that giving what you are going through a name is a huge help. Now that you know that it is Autistic burnout on top of menopause, you can possibly figure out ways to cultivate an Autistic lifestyle (ex. wearing headphones in noisy environments, giving yourself time to recover from social activities, etc) and make your life a little easier.