• Replies 1 reply
  • Subscribers 68 subscribers
  • Views 380 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Hello from Farnham. New to ASD

qcdj2009

Hi All,

My son, age 10 was officially diagnised yesterday with ASD, he also has ADHD and has been diagnosed with that for over 2 years now. He is on medication for it. He also has strict OCD routines and has just come back from 9 days at his Dad's where his hands are red raw, dry and bleeding. His behaviour at home is becoming increasingly more challenging and difficult for us as a family. At the moment I don't see how we are going to get out of it :-( My husband in particular is struggling. We also have 2 other children a duaghter ages 14 and a sone aged 4.

I'm hoping to get support, advice and a friendly ear on here to help us through this difficult time.

  • Hi qcdj2009,

        My heart goes out to you. Challenging behaviour is all to familiar to me also. My son is diagnosed with ASD, but we suspect he also has ADHD, however we've never had this diagnosed. My sons behaviour has become more challenging the older he's become and the higher up the academic level he's gone. Can I ask, is it the change in routine that raises his anxiety levels? Even a trip to the hospital or a new environment can tip my son over the edge, into meltdown.

    As I understand it; and i'm no expert, OCD is or can be born from a need to control or a need to order one's environment often where chaos, fear, anxiety or disorder is percieved. As a child I had huge issues with poor organisational skills and fear of getting things wrong. For me this manifested in OCD behaviour of having everything in my environment over neat, because being able to find things reduced my stress levels. Disorder or unplanned change caused me great distress. To be truthful, even planned change caused me anxiety.

    I know your son is quite young still, however, some CBT and/or Mindfulness therapy maybe of some help for him here. It could help him identify the triggers that cause the obsessional behaviour and look at different tools and strategies to manage his anxiety. It needs to be from a therapist who's trained in ASD so that they recognise what are manageble changes and what is beyond changing. I know this is hard to say, but try not to let your son see your anxiety. Watch him carefully and see if you can identify his triggers. My sons outbursts reduced dramatically when he finished Education. (The stress and the length of the day was just too much to cope with.)

    Some OCD behaviours change as children get older. It could move from hand washing for example, to ordering. This is not necessarily a bad thing however, so long as it doesn't significantly impeed on his or others lives. (It's also better than bleeding hands.) With support my OCD has reduced considerably, however, I now use my residual OCD, in my business dealings to ensure attention to detail is maintained for my customers. I still have to resist the tenptation to oder in their presence, but it's managable for me.

    The explosive behaviour was the most difficult to deal with and the most easy to become overwhelmed by. Small; almost obvious, changes made a big impact here. Like us you may find that the demands expected of your son as he gets older, become greater and therefore his anxiety becomes worse. Try and illiminate the obvious triggers and move forward from their. Be patient. Changes often take way longer to realise with a Child on the spectrum than with other children.

    If their's something specific I can help with, please ask.

    Regards 

    coogybear.