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I'm doubting my autism diagnosis

sommersunshine

I was recently unofficial identified as autistic by a psychologist during a mental health needs assessment. I've noticed my autism ebs and flows over time. Sometimes I feel paralyzingly autistic, have meltdowns, sounds feel intolerably painful, and I can't stand how uncomfortable I feel to the point it severely impacts my mental health. Othertimes, I genuinely don't feel autistic at all. I socialize all day without crashing, can handle my sensory environment, etc. Othertimes I unmask and deep dive into my special interest and become "researcher autistic". Does anyone elses autism feel so different at different times? In comparison, my ADHD feels the same every day. The things that are difficult for me are always difficult for me. Maybe my frame of reference is off? Or maybe I'm sub-clinically autistic? 

Does anyone else feel this way? Is this normal? What does autism feel like for you guys? 

I've also noticed that the more I support myself and am accomidated, the less autistic I feel. Sensory supports makes socializing easier, masking doesn't feel nearly as burdensome. Is this normal? 

Parents

  • What everyone has said. When my kids were young I was positively social as I was so involved in my kids and what I could do with them, and baby groups I found so easy as the scripts fit with my fascination for development. 

    After burn out though everything is hard again and as my social-ness was heavily tied to that early development interest I'm back to struggling with conversations again.

    I really enjoyed the time I wasn't struggling but it's worse than ever now.

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    I think I have a bit of this too. I work with autistic people, study autistic people (clinical psychology), all my friends are autistic people, etc. I am constantly in my special interest. Having it actually makes me better off socially because it gives me a valuable area of expertise and a way to relate to people that is more sociall acceptable. 

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  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    I think I have a bit of this too. I work with autistic people, study autistic people (clinical psychology), all my friends are autistic people, etc. I am constantly in my special interest. Having it actually makes me better off socially because it gives me a valuable area of expertise and a way to relate to people that is more sociall acceptable. 

Children