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Mid 50s UK woman – Wondering but doubtful. Does this ring any bells?

Snookiebookie

I’ve been wondering if I’m autistic (high-masking late-dx pattern) but keep talking myself out of it (“maybe it’s just trauma / anxiety”). Would love your honest thoughts.

Scores

RAADS-R 80 (Social Relatedness 41)

CAT-Q 122

EQ 38 / SQ 63

AQ 22

Aspie Quiz 84 (85 % NT probability, autistic-shaped spider)

Stuff that keeps coming up

Never instinctively know the “right” way to act socially – always overthinking / scripting

Intensity dial can suddenly shoot up to 100 and seem inappropriate (sudden monologues, tears when something matters)

3–5 year deep dives that become my whole identity (tennis stats → cycling → podcasts/live shows)

Social battery flat after one coffee or a normal work day

Parasocial crushes as main regulation - lifelong 

Justice sensitivity + “felt too loud while silent”

Very tomboy and "male brained". Girly stuff very alien to me.

Constantly chew my lip.

I’m organised, hold down a job, no one has ever said autism, and part of me still thinks “maybe I’m just intense / anxious / making it up”.

Does this look like the usual high-masking late-dx woman thing to you, or am I overthinking it? (UK – any gentle next-step advice also welcome.)

Thanks for reading.

Parents

  •  There's a lot there that I recognise. I suspect if you took that list to your GP they may refer you for an assessment. I was in a similar position a few years ago. I was scoring highly on the tests and recognised that many of traits related strongly to me, but was otherwise 'managing'. I'd had difficulties in the past, and some quite traumatic incidents, but I was doing OK. In the end, I decided to pursue a diagnosis, and for me it's given me a sense of ease at knowing. I've been able to join the dots between lots of things I thought were disparate and unconnected. It's also helping me to let go of guilt for some of the ways I've acted/reacted in the past. 

    After three years on the waiting list, I was diagnosed within the NHS last week. I hold down a self-employed, freelance job, but have struggled with 'traditional' workplaces and employment. 

    If you are 'wondering' and that's likely to continue, then pursuing a diagnostic assessment might be useful - if only for peace of mind. Most NHS providers will have a screening element prior to you being put on the list where you'll be asked to take a test, fill in some forms, and they may want to talk to someone who knows you well. That does screen out a lot of people at that stage, but it does at least provide some clarity. If they put you on the waiting list you know that in the professional opinion of autism specialists you are reporting something that needs investigating.

    I think lots of people who have some traits, are coping quite well,  and may vaguely consider autism, but not feel that it's relevant, and just carry-on considering themselves "a bit different". I think that's fine too.

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  •  There's a lot there that I recognise. I suspect if you took that list to your GP they may refer you for an assessment. I was in a similar position a few years ago. I was scoring highly on the tests and recognised that many of traits related strongly to me, but was otherwise 'managing'. I'd had difficulties in the past, and some quite traumatic incidents, but I was doing OK. In the end, I decided to pursue a diagnosis, and for me it's given me a sense of ease at knowing. I've been able to join the dots between lots of things I thought were disparate and unconnected. It's also helping me to let go of guilt for some of the ways I've acted/reacted in the past. 

    After three years on the waiting list, I was diagnosed within the NHS last week. I hold down a self-employed, freelance job, but have struggled with 'traditional' workplaces and employment. 

    If you are 'wondering' and that's likely to continue, then pursuing a diagnostic assessment might be useful - if only for peace of mind. Most NHS providers will have a screening element prior to you being put on the list where you'll be asked to take a test, fill in some forms, and they may want to talk to someone who knows you well. That does screen out a lot of people at that stage, but it does at least provide some clarity. If they put you on the waiting list you know that in the professional opinion of autism specialists you are reporting something that needs investigating.

    I think lots of people who have some traits, are coping quite well,  and may vaguely consider autism, but not feel that it's relevant, and just carry-on considering themselves "a bit different". I think that's fine too.

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