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Just wanted to introduce myself

Kev_H_84

Hello all. My name is Kevin and I have recently been diagnosed autistic at the age of 41. My consultant also highly suspected ADHD but I couldn't afford to pay for further assessments. Unfortunately my NHS board do not offer any neurodivergence assessment services for adults.  A lot of things fell in place just after my diagnosis that helped to explain my past behaviours. Now im feeling a little lost. The journey is just beginning and I'm excited to see what comes, but I understand its a long scary road ahead.

I have been off work since August after my diagnosis and i'm not sure how I'm going to return. But as a grown man with a wife, 2 daughters, and a mortgage, i really need to figure it out soon. The lack of support for adults is depressing. How have other people managed in the working environment? I have been an engineer in the British Army with operational tours under my belt, and now i'm a Chartered Building Surveyor so I know I am capable of achieving great things. I just can't see myself returning to my current role now that I know i'm autistic.

I hope I can meet some like mind people in the community.

  • in reply to Kev_H_84

    Sounds like a great plan. It’s been good for me as I can have a recovery day if I need one and I’m mostly on my own which suits me. 
    I know what you mean about still feeling positive even though it seems like a long way off.

    Good luck with everything!

  • in reply to Take5

    Hello, strangely although I know how difficult the journey is going to be, I’m pretty positive about it.

    I’m hoping to transition into self employed work, just need to make sure it’s financially sustainable whilst my kids are still young.

  • in reply to profdanger

    Hi there, thanks for the reply. I definitely think my current role pushed me towards burnout. I am going to return to work part time whilst assessing my options.

    I should probably take the fact that I was looking at job vacancies almost everyday before I went off as a sign. I was actually considering going into teaching but the stress is definitely a factor.

    I firmly believe no job is beneath me. If I could make stacking shelves in a supermarket or delivering parcels work then I’ll be all over it. One of the best jobs I had was cleaning cars for Arnold Clark.

  • Good afternoon Kevin,

    Working with Autism can be tricky, but as you already know it’s not impossible. One thing to consider is that yes, you have accomplished some impressive work feats, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they were good for you. It is possible that working in those conditions could have been pushing you towards burnout.

    I’m of a mind that there’s probably a job out there that suits you fine, but you may need to be open to working below your talents to find that position that caters to your needs. I was reaching a burnout point with teaching music for 10 years, so I scaled back and took a job as a packer at a factory. Was it a little below what I was capable of? Maybe. Did it have significantly less mental strain than the teaching job? Definitely.

    That said, this may be a time you approach the workforce with an open mind about what you should be doing.

  • in reply to Take5

    Hi Kevin

    I only got my diagnosis a couple of weeks ago age 60.  the clincian said i should own my diagnosis.  Im not broken or damaged, Ive actually been living in an enviroment that isnt need geared to my needs.  so, im giving myself some grace and actually ive done ok despite this.  this site is always welcoming for a chat.  

  • Hi Kevin 

    congratulations on your recent diagnosis. Hang in there and try and research as much as possible. It does take time to adjust to being your new and authentic self. 
    Could you perhaps look at being self employed in your field? I have been self employed for around 20 years now and it’s been a real help. Employment never seemed to fit for me and I think the longest I managed was 4 years. 
    I am not there yet and was diagnosed in June age 51, pretty much lost interest in most (but not all) of my interests which I thought would see me through some challenging times and struggling to mask my way through difficulties with my new found knowledge. 
    I have found a few people that I can talk to, one of which is adhd and bipolar and we are very open with each other which helps. 
    Therapy is helping me to understand myself more but it takes time, my therapist has lived experience herself being audhd.

    Stick around here, there are lots of friendly helpful individuals who share their experiences and offer some advice.