Hi, my first post and a wee question.

I'm glad to hear!

Thanks that's good to know. 

I'm sure that my daughter would agree with you...

Hello and welcome to the community Kevmck.

I was also late diagnosed in my 60s. I find it easier to connect to people here, probably because most people are autistic and because the subjects of interest are wide in scope. I don’t think there is the same pressure here to fit in compared to other places.

I have learned that I won’t necessarily connect with every autistic person here. Sometimes the topics discussed can be of things I don’t understand or I’m not interested in.

Kevmck said:

So I have had a lot of acquaintance changes over the years

Nothing wrong with that at all. The point is, having broad life experiences. I look at that as far more important than who is around or whether they are 'ongoing' people. The NHS is pants - people would be horrified if they knew the stress and bullying that goes on. It's not all 'angels'!

Thanks Marianne that's all good to know. 

I can relate to your serial friendships. I have had situation friendships that only last as long as i'm in the situation. As soon as it changes then the friendships end. It has happened so regularly I just view them more as acquaintances. So at this time I have no friends. Just a few people that I talk to in work. I have been in the military,  at university, I have also had an IT career for the last 25 years across several firms. So I have had a lot of acquaintance changes over the years. 

I have a daughter who's an NHS nurse,  not that I know too much about the in's and outs, as my experience is quite different..

Hi Kevmck

Welcome! I was diagnosed age 46. This is the best site I've found for communicating autistic style, as you dip in and out as you feel and there are no expectations. There are plenty of topics and views, so you can tag along where you wish. The IT team made it easy to follow topic threads - the site is nicely laid out and welcoming. Everyone is respectful. I always found it hard at work, even  working as an NHS professional. In stressed environments I always became 'victim.' I think this was lack of understanding; I didn't speak or got angry, instead of standing firm or backing off as appropriate. I've always had serial friendships - knowing someone until I moved (over 30 times!) then losing touch. In later years I regretted the loss of  some special people - two having died [I'm in my 70's]. I have special interests but also find it fascinating reading posts from younger people and topics I know nothing about, like gaming or specialist gadgets or jargon. When I lost my professional post I found it very hard and lonely, because I lost my specialist social circle - that is why I enjoy this site and my local library, where I chat to librarians about books. Relationships are funny things and psychologically illogical! I think in life we have few very close friendships and far more acquaintances.

Thanks for the info. I've never been a group person, but I guess that an ND group might be different...

It's food for thought. 

That's an interesting view.

It's also great that you've made good long-term friends. I've never been able to do that. 

I've been learning quite a lot about autism and ADHD this year. Autism for my diagnosis and ADHD for my wife as it's looking quite likely that she has it. At the start of the year we hadn't even thought about it in relation to her. Then she watched a documentary about ADHD and she related quite strongly with it. Which kicked off my research mode and I'm pretty sure that she has it too. I just need to get her diagnosed now.

Anyway it seems like this will be a good place to expand my knowledge with people's real experiences..

HiKevmck and welcome 

I am late diagnosed too.

I have joined a couple of ND in person groups. I have found it much easier to be around ND people.

It has been much quieter and more respectful. There hasn't been any gossip only factual interesting conversations and I don't feel under pressure to speak which is such a relief for me.

I wouldn't say I've made any strong connections yet, but I'm happy to just fit in somewhere and feel relaxed (ish)

It's early days but so far so good.

All the best in finding ND in person groups.

(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

That's interesting. 

It sounds like you have managed to maintain a lot of friendships. I have none. Other than a few people in work who i talk to, but it goes no further than the office. 

I really just rely on my wife for social interactions. 

Interesting view.

I try to treat everyone the way I expect to be treated myself. Not that it has helped me in life as I currently have no friends and have struggled to make and keep them. 

My only real connection is my wife and she's the polar opposite of me, or she was when we got together. Over the decades we've grown much closer in personality. 

I think that treating each person as an individual is the only useful approach, Some people will come across as sympatico and others will not, regardless of their being autistic or allistic. Though there might be a greater appreciation of other autistic people's problems, the clash of sensory and communication styles might be greater between two autistic people than between an autistic person and an allistic person.

I have a friend I have known from schooldays, he is a professional actor, who is the polar opposite of me in personality, being gregarious,extrovert and quite charismatic. However, we have always got on together really well.

Hello and welcome!

It’s pretty mixed for me. My wife and best friend are NT, but I have a lot of ND friends. I feel like I am drawn most to NT people who are safe for ND people. Ex. My best friend is friends with a ton of ND people and I met them through him. And the receptionist at my work is probably NT but me and another Autistic person confide in her.

Thanks Stuart, I think that might be the issue. I did build my post in a note application,  because i'm at work and I had to split up the time needed to create it and I didn't want to type half of it in and have it go missing. 

Lesson learned!

Kevmck said:

I'm wondering if people find that it's easier to connect with other neurodiverse people rather than neurotypical people? 

The advice I have received is that it should be easier to connect with people who are like me...

It is a very mixed bag when contacting neurodiverse people as many of us have very limited world views and/or traumas that influence our thinking, but on the whole we are more approachable than neurotypicals so long as you are not expecting a great deal from us.

I find it is fairly easy to connect with neurotypicals over areas of shared interest so long as I avoid monologuing or info dumping on them. I've made some good long term friends over my areas of special interest over the years.

If you are interested in the subject of autism then this site is a great place to chat - there is a lot of knowledge and a wealth of experience to ask about. You may need to consider the quality of input from time to time but that happens with input from nerotypicals too.

I have seen it a few times.

Maybe the first post is pasted from another application. I.e. it was typed in a Word doc, or email, then pasted into the box.

The subsequent posts are probably typed straight in the browser so pick the default forum font.

Thanks Stuart.

That makes sense. 

I haven't changed anything as regards my font settings so it is really weird...

This post is fine and the font normal sized, weird