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Introduction and asking about ‘name blindness’

Stringcat

Hi. My second post, having just been diagnosed with autism in my 50s. I was also widowed 12 years ago and that time has been such a mess. I didn’t suspect autism while my wife was alive, but we had such a lovely relationship and she just understood me. I realise now that she was my shield from everything my ND brain finds difficult. And having met when I was 19, I had barely done adult life without her.

I’ve found a few old threads here about face blindness. I wouldn’t say I quite have that: I do tend to recognise people I know. That is, I know I know them! But I have such a hard time putting names to faces, or knowing where I know them from. I have spent a lifetime telling myself I have a bad memory and just need to make more of an effort. But it’s scary when people expect you to know their name. I’m a teacher, and recently did a summer course with two pupils I have taught one-to-one (weekly in school) for over three years. Because they weren’t in the usual teaching space, I had no idea what their names were. I had to go and look them up on the register. I realise I remember people by associating them with a physical location or context. If someone moves to the opposite side of the room I’m lost.

i have realised for years that I go through life talking to people I know are friends, but I have no idea what they’re called. Does this sound familiar? I have so many tactics for avoiding having to know anyone’s name.

Parents

  • I also have Name Blindness, exactly the same experience with names!! 

    I was also a teacher (untill very recently). I'm 46 recently diagnosed. 

    The hardest part is the embarrisment, shame and the feeling of uselessness that comes with it. I often end up calling people "dude", "chick" and other things. 

    I seem to have memory issues in general. I can only seem to retain information which is highly important or interesting. 

    A trick I used was to attach some form of meaning to a person. This could be anything. Breaking down their name phonetically (if it's a complex name). Assosicating the name with a simplar word or a rhyme or memory. For example one of my students was called Panashe. I could never remember his name, I broke it down phonetically and was able to remember Pan-Ash. I also remember I film which involved "Pan Air" or "Pan AM", so when I see him I think of the film. I see him, I remember the film, think in a pilots uniform and remember Pan-Ash. 

    It's exhaughsting being autistic. 

  • in reply to Leafy

    Yes, I’ve tried the name association thing. It does work - it just feels like a huge effort. After this many years, I’ve learnt to get away with not knowing, most of the time! I think I’d find a list of random numbers easier to memorise than names.

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