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Introduction and asking about ‘name blindness’

Stringcat

Hi. My second post, having just been diagnosed with autism in my 50s. I was also widowed 12 years ago and that time has been such a mess. I didn’t suspect autism while my wife was alive, but we had such a lovely relationship and she just understood me. I realise now that she was my shield from everything my ND brain finds difficult. And having met when I was 19, I had barely done adult life without her.

I’ve found a few old threads here about face blindness. I wouldn’t say I quite have that: I do tend to recognise people I know. That is, I know I know them! But I have such a hard time putting names to faces, or knowing where I know them from. I have spent a lifetime telling myself I have a bad memory and just need to make more of an effort. But it’s scary when people expect you to know their name. I’m a teacher, and recently did a summer course with two pupils I have taught one-to-one (weekly in school) for over three years. Because they weren’t in the usual teaching space, I had no idea what their names were. I had to go and look them up on the register. I realise I remember people by associating them with a physical location or context. If someone moves to the opposite side of the room I’m lost.

i have realised for years that I go through life talking to people I know are friends, but I have no idea what they’re called. Does this sound familiar? I have so many tactics for avoiding having to know anyone’s name.

Parents

  •   so sorry to hear of your loss. Well, I never thought face blindness was a thing. I just thought I’ve always struggled to remember names!! I hope someone else will call the person or I spend minutes going through possible names in my head till I hit on the right one!

    Is there also a name for forgetting how you are going to get where you’re going either on foot or by car?! I’ve done this since I learnt to drive and have to think of the place I’m going (sometimes that’s really hard to visualise) and then think back to where I am now to work out my route. If that doesn’t stick I have to keep doing it over and over again on the journey. Does anyone know if this is an autistic thing or just me?

Reply

  •   so sorry to hear of your loss. Well, I never thought face blindness was a thing. I just thought I’ve always struggled to remember names!! I hope someone else will call the person or I spend minutes going through possible names in my head till I hit on the right one!

    Is there also a name for forgetting how you are going to get where you’re going either on foot or by car?! I’ve done this since I learnt to drive and have to think of the place I’m going (sometimes that’s really hard to visualise) and then think back to where I am now to work out my route. If that doesn’t stick I have to keep doing it over and over again on the journey. Does anyone know if this is an autistic thing or just me?

Children
  • in reply to Amadeus

    I’ve come up with so many tactics over the years to avoid having to do things like ‘can you go and fetch Dave’ because I often don’t know who Dave is.

    I do have very good spatial awareness though. Everywhere’s mapped out, and even dates, numbers, abstract things I tend to see as patterns. With kids I teach, I get to know their name eventually if they sit in the same chair every day. If they move chairs, it becomes a bit of a lottery to whether I’ll remember!