Introduction and asking about ‘name blindness’

Hi. My second post, having just been diagnosed with autism in my 50s. I was also widowed 12 years ago and that time has been such a mess. I didn’t suspect autism while my wife was alive, but we had such a lovely relationship and she just understood me. I realise now that she was my shield from everything my ND brain finds difficult. And having met when I was 19, I had barely done adult life without her.

I’ve found a few old threads here about face blindness. I wouldn’t say I quite have that: I do tend to recognise people I know. That is, I know I know them! But I have such a hard time putting names to faces, or knowing where I know them from. I have spent a lifetime telling myself I have a bad memory and just need to make more of an effort. But it’s scary when people expect you to know their name. I’m a teacher, and recently did a summer course with two pupils I have taught one-to-one (weekly in school) for over three years. Because they weren’t in the usual teaching space, I had no idea what their names were. I had to go and look them up on the register. I realise I remember people by associating them with a physical location or context. If someone moves to the opposite side of the room I’m lost.

i have realised for years that I go through life talking to people I know are friends, but I have no idea what they’re called. Does this sound familiar? I have so many tactics for avoiding having to know anyone’s name.

Parents
  • I'm really very good at remembering faces, even decades after I last saw a particular person. I'm useless at remembering names, however. I think it is at least partly because when I am introduced to anyone I am so mentally preoccupied with smiling, looking them in the eye, gauging how firm a handshake to give and remembering to say some expected platitudes, that there is no space in my brain to take in their name. Thereafter relying on picking up other people using the name, or seeing it written down, which is not always successful in retaining it.

Reply
  • I'm really very good at remembering faces, even decades after I last saw a particular person. I'm useless at remembering names, however. I think it is at least partly because when I am introduced to anyone I am so mentally preoccupied with smiling, looking them in the eye, gauging how firm a handshake to give and remembering to say some expected platitudes, that there is no space in my brain to take in their name. Thereafter relying on picking up other people using the name, or seeing it written down, which is not always successful in retaining it.

Children
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