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No help since diagnosis

Clarkie

Hi,

Not sure what I'm asking for here, but I needed to reach out. I've been diagnosed with both ADHD and autism for a while (autism about 3 years, ADHD about 1). I'm 57, female and not medicated (ADHD diagnosis was most recent and although it was a while ago I've still not got to titration stage yet).

I don't know who I am. I've masked so successfully all my life (without knowing it was masking, just thinking it was trying to keep up with others) that I do not know where the mask ends and I start. I've tried to work out who I am since the diagnoses and all that's appeared is more confusion.

I've had no help or support since diagnosis either. After my autism assessment I was sent a bunch of photocopied info sheets, where it turns out most of the groups and support listed no longer exist or are suspended because of funds. There is no diagnostic team. The only thing on offer was a 6 week online course which turned out was aimed at parents of autistic children. and just explained what autism was (thanks, I can google that myself), so I left that.

I feel I am drowning more than I did before. I expected there to be a grieving and shock process, but I feel worse off now than when I was clueless about my diagnoses. it feels empty and alone.

Has anyone accessed anything useful in their acceptance and unmasking journey that perhaps I could look into? I realise I'm going to have to be proactive: no one (in the NHS) is going to actually supply any help.

Parents

  • Hi  

    I am 55 and recently diagnosed too. 

    I agree it's difficult to know who we truly are without the mask.

    I have joined my local autism group. I have been on a couple of walks. I think I'm noticing the real me in this environment. It's so strange, it's made me realize how hard I'm working in every other environment.

    I have also accessed 6 online zoom sessions with Autism East Midlands called Empower Autism: Navigating Life with Confidence” course. They are each roughly 2 hours long, so far I've found them informative and helpful.

    I also attend private psychotherapy sessions. It was my therapist who first suggested I may be ND. She helps me explore and understand the dynamics of my close relationships.

    I hope you are able to access some extra support soon.

    (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

     

  • in reply to Lonehare12

    I was diagnosed at 50 and given no help, I've still not found any 13 years later.

    I think I deal with masking a bit better because I've done ir conciously for most of my life, like everyone else I do so as I can pass as an NT or in NT society. Now I find myself looking for an appropriate mask for the situation, the feelings behind what I'm saying are real, the mask just helps me to say it better and use the right body language etc, or mostly, I still get it very wrong sometimes. When I'm done I conciously remove the mask and put it away in a mental cupboard and go back to being the person I am behind my eyes, when I'm not being looked at, if that makes sense?

Reply
  • in reply to Lonehare12

    I was diagnosed at 50 and given no help, I've still not found any 13 years later.

    I think I deal with masking a bit better because I've done ir conciously for most of my life, like everyone else I do so as I can pass as an NT or in NT society. Now I find myself looking for an appropriate mask for the situation, the feelings behind what I'm saying are real, the mask just helps me to say it better and use the right body language etc, or mostly, I still get it very wrong sometimes. When I'm done I conciously remove the mask and put it away in a mental cupboard and go back to being the person I am behind my eyes, when I'm not being looked at, if that makes sense?

Children
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