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recently diagnosed at 20 years old

Lydia

Hi everyone. I am a 20 year old female who has just received a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. I have had anorexia since I was 13, and this now seems to perhaps be symptomatic of me finding it difficult to understand the world. I am really struggling to accept the diagnosis, however, as I am confused about what Asperger's really is. I also don't feel like someone who doesn't 'get' or enjoy the company of other individuals; I just struggle with social anxiety and understanding the rules. I am very locked into a lot of negative behaviours and coping strategies (not eating, vomiting, self harm, panic attacks, pulling out my hair, sleeping on the floor, avoiding rest, over excercising) and I don't know how to learn to live with myself. It also seems like there is not really any help available for adults with autism. I am feeling very lost and sad, and would really appreciate talking to some other people who have experienced Asperger's. Sorry if this post seems self obsessed! Thanks.

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  • Lydia said:

    I know what you mean about beating yourself up when you do better than expected...I think we worry so much about fulfilling roles expected of us by others that we get anxious/feel like a fraud when we don't.

    Is Lion a soft toy who helps you cope? I think that is really lovely:)

    Feeling like a fraud when i did something i didnt expect of myself is / was a common thing. I realise this is because i am still operating on a "model myself" basis... not really that useful long term.

    When i do get to relax (like on holiday recently) i was able to discover a bit more about... well how i am when not so anxious / heavily loaded.

    Lion is indeed a soft toy (he prefers the team "plushie" or "snuggle professional") i wrote about him last year for Autism Awareness Day. (jkg3.com/.../on-autism-lion), i also named my company after him (www.pluslion.com) as everyone remembered the Lion!

    Cheers,

    Jamie + Lion

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  • Lydia said:

    I know what you mean about beating yourself up when you do better than expected...I think we worry so much about fulfilling roles expected of us by others that we get anxious/feel like a fraud when we don't.

    Is Lion a soft toy who helps you cope? I think that is really lovely:)

    Feeling like a fraud when i did something i didnt expect of myself is / was a common thing. I realise this is because i am still operating on a "model myself" basis... not really that useful long term.

    When i do get to relax (like on holiday recently) i was able to discover a bit more about... well how i am when not so anxious / heavily loaded.

    Lion is indeed a soft toy (he prefers the team "plushie" or "snuggle professional") i wrote about him last year for Autism Awareness Day. (jkg3.com/.../on-autism-lion), i also named my company after him (www.pluslion.com) as everyone remembered the Lion!

    Cheers,

    Jamie + Lion

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