recently diagnosed at 20 years old

Hello!

Lydia said:

I am really struggling to accept the diagnosis, however, as I am confused about what Asperger's really is. I also don't feel like someone who doesn't 'get' or enjoy the company of other individuals; I just struggle with social anxiety and understanding the rules.

Well, that sounds very Asperger'sy to me!

I was recently diagnosed as well, and I'm now 42.  It seems to me that part and parcel of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs), such as Asperger's, is difficulty understanding how these ASDs affect us, and that this is itself a consequence or manifestation of our difficulty "understanding the rules".  Because we have difficulty understanding some of that social stuff, we then have difficulty understanding what it is we're trying to compare ourselves and our ASDs with, and so we have difficulty understanding our ASDs.

It's a bit like trying to understand what makes a motorbike a motorbike, by comparing and contrasting it with a car, when you don't really know what a car is in the first place.  And even when you do get the hang of it, you've still got puzzles like how to categorise quadbikes and Reliant Robins.

And then there's the problem that ASDs can seem quite different as seen from the outside, by other people, to how they seem as seen from the inside, by us ourselves.  We can enjoy the company of other people, participating in social activities, and so on, while having difficulty doing so, and tending to avoid such things because of the difficulties, including anxieties, that we have.  From the outside, we might then seem like we don't enjoy the company of other people, and so on, when really it's that we don't enjoy the difficulties we have and can also have difficulty simply getting involved in social stuff in the first place anyway.

I think it's also helpful to know that other people, who don't have ASDs, also have difficulty understanding this stuff.  It's not only us who have these difficulties understanding ASDs and how they affect us.

Does that make sense?  I'm still learning this stuff myself; it's an ongoing process.

Anyway, I hope you find your diagnosis helpful, even if it seems difficult to make sense of at first.

Hello!

Lydia said:

I am really struggling to accept the diagnosis, however, as I am confused about what Asperger's really is. I also don't feel like someone who doesn't 'get' or enjoy the company of other individuals; I just struggle with social anxiety and understanding the rules.

Well, that sounds very Asperger'sy to me!

I was recently diagnosed as well, and I'm now 42.  It seems to me that part and parcel of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs), such as Asperger's, is difficulty understanding how these ASDs affect us, and that this is itself a consequence or manifestation of our difficulty "understanding the rules".  Because we have difficulty understanding some of that social stuff, we then have difficulty understanding what it is we're trying to compare ourselves and our ASDs with, and so we have difficulty understanding our ASDs.

It's a bit like trying to understand what makes a motorbike a motorbike, by comparing and contrasting it with a car, when you don't really know what a car is in the first place.  And even when you do get the hang of it, you've still got puzzles like how to categorise quadbikes and Reliant Robins.

And then there's the problem that ASDs can seem quite different as seen from the outside, by other people, to how they seem as seen from the inside, by us ourselves.  We can enjoy the company of other people, participating in social activities, and so on, while having difficulty doing so, and tending to avoid such things because of the difficulties, including anxieties, that we have.  From the outside, we might then seem like we don't enjoy the company of other people, and so on, when really it's that we don't enjoy the difficulties we have and can also have difficulty simply getting involved in social stuff in the first place anyway.

I think it's also helpful to know that other people, who don't have ASDs, also have difficulty understanding this stuff.  It's not only us who have these difficulties understanding ASDs and how they affect us.

Does that make sense?  I'm still learning this stuff myself; it's an ongoing process.

Anyway, I hope you find your diagnosis helpful, even if it seems difficult to make sense of at first.