Hello Everyone, I’m a 71 year old male. I received my Asperger’s diagnosis 4 months ago. I’ve been working through a lot of grief and some anger since then. I’ve had a lifetime history of depression since 16 years old, mostly without medication.
My psychiatrist recommended I join online support groups and this is my first attempt. Easier said than done. I find the whole idea of joining groups intimidating. But I realise having worked some way through the grief I am not making any progress improving my life which is deeply lonely.
I also have a diagnosis of Bipolar 2 rapid cycling. My psychiatrist says the Autism and Bipolar interact. I only got these diagnoses by using a private psychiatrist and I am now having difficulty getting the Bipolar properly medicated by the NHS. I may have to pursue the right medication privately which I can’t really afford. Some of the medication my psychiatrist proposed (Bupropion) is not licensed in the NHS anyway so I probably have no option, but I feel uncomfortable about it all.
I’ve just gone through an experience of Autistic Shutdown. It lasted a few weeks. I didn’t realise what was happening at first but eventually pieced together what had triggered it. I then realised I have gone through so many of these experiences in my lifetime. They nearly always are triggered by the onset of confusion in a relationship, leading me to run away and lockdown. Each time a “friendship” ruined. I’ve put friendship in quotes because I don’t know what friendship is, and at a deep level there’s always a strong element of fakeness to these connections.
That’s enough for now. Thanks for listening
