Hello, hope you don't mind me posting here as I haven't been formally diagnosed, so if inappropriate, please delete. I'm 47 years old and, after struggling to connect with people socially all my life, I've recently started reading more about autism since my wife told me that she thinks I'm autistic. Reading accounts from autistic people has been like reading about myself! It not only would explain my problems socially, but also why I have unusual interests and hobbies, why I like routines so much, my sleeping difficulties over the years, and why I find certain situations in work a challenge.
So my question to anyone who has been diagnosed, particular as an adult, is whether the process is worth it? I've read enough to be confident that I'm autistic, and I find medical consultations stressful, so I'm wondering if there is any benefit. I'm also wondering about my son, who's 17, and I'm pretty sure is autistic too.
I did see a counsellor 20 years ago about social anxiety and raised the possibility of having Asperger's at the time, having read about it, but she assured me that I didn't - on the basis of giving her eye contact - and I'm now sure that she was wrong.
Although I do struggle socially in work, I've been fortunate to do alright for myself and have been promoted to management after working for a long time in the same job, essentially by just doing as I was told. Bizarrely, I quite enjoy leading people, it works well for me as I can keep a natural distance from staff and act in a professional way. The disadvantages are having to network with other managers, which I really struggle with, and dealing with superior staff and HR processes which treat people in 'authoritarian' ways which seem alien to me. I'm not sure there's anything to be gained by presenting an autism diagnosis in work.
I'm also lucky enough to be happily married but I only have one friend otherwise who I've known since we were kids.
From what I've read, it doesn't sound like there are any medical treatments for autism, or medication that would help, so a diagnosis doesn't seem beneficial for that reason either. And I've read mixed / negative views of therapy being offered which seems aimed at making people behave more 'neurotypically'.
My son's context is slightly different: he's in sixth form and is doing reasonably well in school but doesn't have any friends who he meets outside of school. He did have a small friend group in primary but went up to secondary during the lockdowns in 2020 and pretty much lost all his friends in that period. Other than to go to school, he doesn't leave the house. He does have a friend in school who he seems to get on with, who has been diagnosed as autistic. I'm wondering if a diagnosis for him would help to prepare him for the wider world, so I'm interested to hear anyone's experience of being diagnosed in their late teens.
I have another, younger son who I'm pretty sure isn't autistic as he's out and about a lot of the time, had a girlfriend by the age of 11, and is constantly on group calls and chat with his many friends... I'm very proud of him but slightly envious! Any advice from autistic parents with neurotypical children? How can I try and keep a good bond going with him growing up?
Thanks for reading!
