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Hello

leeisds

Hi everyone 

I was diagnosed as a child with ADHD 25 years ago, as times moved on I have had many comments and opinions made to me that 'I am on the spectrum' or I am autistic.
Doing my own research and learning abit about it, I think they might be right. Always thought I was abit different, socially and stuff mainly but I always had another reason or excuse as to why.. but I am slowly putting the pieces together

I have been told to read and learn about Autism and to get involved with Autism communities, so here I am.. trying to find myself I think

One thing I am learning as the first book I have decided to go for is called Unmasking, maybe I am in total denial about even being in denial, honestly I am not sure because I am confused as to what masks I am wearing, what excactly am I supposed to be masking? I feel like I am supposed to figure that out before I can unmask it, to be able to supposedily be myself, accept myself and be happier? 

I suppose it is going to be a long journey. I could say alot more but I thought I will keep it short for now, dont want to bore everyone on my first post :-) 

Looking forward to speaking to you all, maybe make some friends who knows

Thanks

Lee

  • Hi  and welcome!!

    I have AUDHD, I was diagnosed earlier this year, I am 55.

    Hopefully you will get some answers here.

    Enjoy chatting.

    (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

  • in reply to leeisds

    Yes! A lot of what I have learned about myself I’ve only noticed because other people have pointed it out or I have heard other people’s experiences with said trait. This site is great for that, since a lot of us learn about ourselves by reading others’ testimonies.

    For example, I didn’t realize that I have issues with showering until I read others’ experiences with transitions. The extreme transition from cold to hot and visa versa is sometimes too intense for me. Now I give myself a little grace by allowing myself to relax before jumping in or do a little stimming before doing it.

  • in reply to profdanger

    Its good that you are figuring yourself out like this, did you just keep learning about different autism in general and learn/hear about different masks, before you started to realise some are your own etc and that is how you figured that out? 

    I can look at people in the eyes but its very brief, I find myself looking around everywhere else more than anything and even look at their nose and teeth, rather than just eyes. I think its weird and uncomfortable if two people in conversation just stare at each other in the eyes, but thats me :-)  so yeah maybe that is one of my masks then 

    I tend to fidget, pick anything I can on my hands if im feeling nervous or anything, I have always put this down to an ADHD control mechanism but maybe its also a mask, and my fiance says whenever I am standing at the checkout to pay in supermarkets if there is a queue and I have to wait, my head begins to very slightly nod, uncontrollable and involintarily, like I dont even know I am doing it. Perhaps these are some form of masks, no idea - Still learning and god knows what else I do haha 

  • Hi Lee, good you’ve joined and I’m new here too and I hope you make good friends. Take care.

  • Good afternoon from America, Lee!

    Sounds like your journey is a lot like mine has been. I was diagnosed as a kid with ADD (ADHD) and at age 30 I was finally diagnosed with Autism. It’s easy for Autism to hide behind ADHD.

    As for masks, it can take some time for you to discover them. I’ve been slowly peeling away the things I have built up over the years as coping mechanisms, such as instinctively staring at the bridge of people’s noses instead of meeting eyes with them or shaking whenever I’m nervous or under-stimulated. I still mask when I’m at work, but I’ve been trying to be more authentic in my daily life. One way I’ve unmasked is taking more time to myself when at family get togethers. Before I’d just grit my teeth and bear with it through the whole ordeal, but now I feel unashamed to step away and take a breath of fresh air away from the others from time to time.

    So yeah, be patient with yourself. Masking versus unmasking makes more sense as time goes on.