Newly diagnosed and new to the community

Hi LavenderPiano 

I am happy to write that I can share a tip that I learnt from communicating with the good people on thus site - in this case Stuart333 about a month ago.

They pointed out that in communicating with other people " a more NT response that puts the emotions first and makes it easier for them to relate to you and respond ".

Hehe. can you see that I did so earlier in my reply?

I have kindof been used to thinking that people could figure how I feel based on what I am saying and from the non-verbal cues that I am giving.  The same way I am used to consciously using  - perhaps to compensate for those "social communication difficulties" that are associated with autism...

Anyway seems that often other people don't.   So giving that extra info' in words before going on to say things helps.  I have found it "oils the wheels" of social communication with NT and neurodiverse too.  It also reminds me to think about how I am feeling - when down rabbit holes in my autistic experience I can sometimes forget to consider things like my emotions - hehe maybe because of the ubiquitous chronic stress!

Thanks for asking.  I gave the social strategy a try for a while and have since slackened of a bit in doing so - despite my finding it to be a useful thing to do!  Your question has been a useful reminder to me :-)

Best Wishes

PS I like the idea of soft fragrances that comes with your chosen name :-)

Hi LavenderPiano 

I am happy to write that I can share a tip that I learnt from communicating with the good people on thus site - in this case Stuart333 about a month ago.

They pointed out that in communicating with other people " a more NT response that puts the emotions first and makes it easier for them to relate to you and respond ".

Hehe. can you see that I did so earlier in my reply?

I have kindof been used to thinking that people could figure how I feel based on what I am saying and from the non-verbal cues that I am giving.  The same way I am used to consciously using  - perhaps to compensate for those "social communication difficulties" that are associated with autism...

Anyway seems that often other people don't.   So giving that extra info' in words before going on to say things helps.  I have found it "oils the wheels" of social communication with NT and neurodiverse too.  It also reminds me to think about how I am feeling - when down rabbit holes in my autistic experience I can sometimes forget to consider things like my emotions - hehe maybe because of the ubiquitous chronic stress!

Thanks for asking.  I gave the social strategy a try for a while and have since slackened of a bit in doing so - despite my finding it to be a useful thing to do!  Your question has been a useful reminder to me :-)

Best Wishes

PS I like the idea of soft fragrances that comes with your chosen name :-)

I’ve actually noticed that before that adding more detail into my responses, like verbalising my thinking, helps a lot. I care a lot about what other people think so I think that’s why I hold back so much on what I say, but it’s kind of a part of me to go into detail because it’s how I talk to those I’m comfortable with. 

I do, however, struggle a bit to understand my emotions sometimes and I find it difficult to empathise with others. So I don’t really know how to respond when people say sad news because I don’t feel that sympathetic and I don’t want to lie but I also don’t want to be rude lol

Thank you for your response, it’s helped a lot :)