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Now what?

Tabitha_Teacher

Hi, I am an Autistic adult - diagnosed 4 months ago at the age of 25. I am sure lots of people relate to that feeling of ‘Now what?’ 

I teach in a secondary school and my colleagues are really supportive but I feel like they want to help soo much that I feel pressured in to figuring out solutions to my challenges so quickly. I feel guilty when I say that I don’t know what support I need. I know I struggle both with the executive function side and with emotional regulation but I do a great job of masking. 

Outside of work is a bit easier as I don’t need to mask as much, but there is a lot of emotional baggage to unpack following decades of feeling weird or damaged or somehow insufficient. My self esteem has really suffered over the years and I know my diagnosis, although welcome, has definitely not solved anything yet. I am still working on unmasking around my siblings. Mum, Dad and my husband are the only people who see the genuine me, and they spend half their time dealing with the fallout of my masking, burnout an overwhelm.

I feel like I have a long road ahead.

  • Tabitha_Teacher said:
    I feel guilty when I say that I don’t know what support I need.

    I think a good place to start is to set your watch to silently alert you every 10 mins for you to measure if you feel stressed / anxious or not and if so to make a note of what you are doing or about to do that you think could be doing this.

    Once you find the actual stressers then those are the areas you want to focus on getting support with if viable.

    I imagine you need to do a lot of masking when with students so consider if there is a way to reduce the masking a bit - it will be a trial and error approach to find if this works for you and should be done is stages I expect.

    Meditation can be a great way to shrug off the stress during the day and a quiet space is best for this. Can you learn the skills to meditate and get a quiet room to use in your spare hours? Even if you only do 20 mins a day it can make a lot of difference in my experience.

    If some student behaviours trigger you then consider asking management if you can use a zero tolerance approach to it. If someone displays the behaviour then can they be immediately sent for punishment? This will depend a lot on your schools approach to this so they need to buy into it and you also need to give the students plenty of warning.

    Does bright sunlight cause extra sensory load for you? Maybe getting blinds in the room can help.

    Becoming self aware of the state you are in is a key to working out what is best to focus on and then you can discuss possible adjustments. Remember to inform the students of what is expected of them thoroughly even if you choose not to disclose your diagnosis.

    I remember from school that some students were quite predatory and would exploit any weakness in the teachers to try to break them to consider this carefully before letting on about your diagnosis.

    Good luck

  • Hi and welcome to the community. I used to teach English as a second Language and looking back on it I can identify what were my stressors, so perhaps that might help?

    1. Lesson planning. I spent an awful long time on lesson plans, worrying if they were good enough, trying to think of extra activities to make the lesson more interesting, trying to think of answers for any questions I might be asked, etc. If this is something you struggle with, how about scheduling a chat with your head of department and asking what ideas they have to simplify the process?

    2. Listening to individual students and giving feedback - I had to mark them on their spoken English which I found difficult, as it's easier for me to assess written text than spoken words. Unless you're an English Teacher you probably won't have to mark students on speaking skills, but maybe you get students talking over each other, or you feel you could improve your listening / verbal communication skills. If so, you could ask if someone could observe you in a lesson and give you feedback.

    3. The staff room /office - A busy staff room with lots of people talking, and having to queue to use a photocopier to print copies of lesson handouts were issues for me. Perhaps you could spend some breaks in an empty classroom, and get a printer set up to a smart board to print out any handouts you need?

  • Welcome.

    It is lovely that your work colleagues are being so supportive, as I know from some of the posts I've read on these forums that this isn't the case for everyone. Although I know it may be easier said than done, I really don't think you should feel guilty for telling your colleagues you don't know what support you need. If you haven't already done so, my advice would be to thank them and say you will let them know as and when you require additional support.