Hi I’m new, anxious but I just want to say hello

Hello.

I've always found it strange why saying hello is hard. Particularly online where you are anonymous and physically unseen.

I suppose it has to be fear of rejection, or being ignored, or saying the wrong thing. But how wrong can "Hello" go? Still, logic doesn't override emotions, it just allows you to squash them.

Anyway, welcome. Once you've stepped over the threshold and made the first few posts it should be easier. The first time to do anything is always the hardest. Once it becomes a routine it's not just easier, you actually miss it.

If course with online communication, or any communication, misunderstandings are possible. The important thing is to either clarify at the time, if you can, or step away for a few hours and forget about it. Then come back with an open mind. I know from over 20 years of using forums it is hard sometimes if people disagree. But don't be scared. It is pretty calm here. You can offer your opinions on anything you like, within the forum rules.

Thank you for what you wrote, I’m feeling so more at home here, it’s so difficult to do things like this but I’ll get more confidence, even though I’m anonymous, I still feel vulnerable but, simultaneously, I feel safe and happier to be part of this community 

The feeling of vulnerability is interesting. It's an internal thing, so in theory it can be controlled.

I think it comes down to confidence and needing, or wanting, validation. 

The curious thing is why autism erodes confidence or requires validation. It maybe stems from masking; because people are often not fully authentic they therefore seek feedback to ensure the mask is correct, which makes them uncertain in new scenarios. But if they're authentic it feels unnatural, which also means it's hard to predict the response.

So either way, poking your head above the parapet seems hard 

Most people's written communication is fine and there's no need to be fearful. But yet it still somehow matters and is scary.

Since diagnosis I have been thinking carefully about all these things. Understanding helps me to minimise the problem.

The feeling of vulnerability is interesting. It's an internal thing, so in theory it can be controlled.

I think it comes down to confidence and needing, or wanting, validation. 

The curious thing is why autism erodes confidence or requires validation. It maybe stems from masking; because people are often not fully authentic they therefore seek feedback to ensure the mask is correct, which makes them uncertain in new scenarios. But if they're authentic it feels unnatural, which also means it's hard to predict the response.

So either way, poking your head above the parapet seems hard 

Most people's written communication is fine and there's no need to be fearful. But yet it still somehow matters and is scary.

Since diagnosis I have been thinking carefully about all these things. Understanding helps me to minimise the problem.