Recently diagnosed at 57

Hi NAS73103 

"Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!"

Others have given great suggestions and the NAS resources are there to explore.

To add my ten penneth -

I was diagnosed about 3 years ago age 58

For me, despite people telling me "it's OK you're still you..." I found that at diagnosis I still experienced a paradigm shift .  I.e. a fundamental change in approach/underlying assumptions.  That takes a while to settle into.

Accepting that I am "neurodiverse" and understanding how that impacts me rather than believing that I am just a bit sh1t at living in comparison to how society expects me to.

This is now coming around to an acceptance that the harder paradigm shift is for society to accept me as autistic rather than me accepting myself...  How to self advocate becomes a part of life post diagnosis in my experience.  

Normal?

I come from Norfolk where the term "Normal for Norfolk" was coined.  The term is considered derogatory because it portrays people from Norfolk as normally being strange, or peculiar with an inference that they are in-bred.

Just to say,..    Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson was born and brought up there.  Norfolk put up Albert Einstein for 3 weeks after he fled the *** before he made his home in USA.  Julian of Norwich, the first woman to write a book in English probably lived all her life there.  I could go on... :-)

Best way of getting support - learn to tap into your inner strength would be my suggestion.

There's lot of us autistic people and remarkably despite being apparently disadvantaged by society we're still here!   So there must be something about us that is strong, valuable and enduring.  By implication a lot of the things opposite to how one can be drawn to feel because one is "different".

Google AI  says on this:

"To find inner strength, cultivate a positive mindset by focusing on your purpose, setting small goals and practicing gratitude. Nurture your physical and mental well-being through self-care like exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques such as meditation or deep breathing. Connect with supportive people and activities that bring you joy and a sense of purpose, while also learning to let go of negativity and trust your own resilience."

All the best!

Hi NAS73103 and welcome 

Everything on your list matches my way being. I think the best part of getting a diagnosis is that there is a reason why we are the way we are and therefore we don't need to beat ourselves up for struggling with so many things. Also learning to make accomodations for ourselves and not worrying what others think so much.

I have a therapist who has been probably the most helpful person for me since my diagnosis, she in fact suggested I looked into a diagnosis.

It is still hard to absorb though I agree, I think it's not unreasonable to expect it to take time.

Hopefully you'll find plenty of help and support on here.(⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)

I got diagnosed a few days ago, I'm 57 too and I'm on a roller coaster ride too! Been told it takes time but it gets better, we just need to hang in there!

Welcome to the community NAS73103 

NAS73103 said:

Is this `normal?` Best way of getting support???

All the points you make in your post have been made by others on this forum, so they are not uncommon, so yes you are ‘normal’. That said, you might learn to manage some of the things that cause you most difficulty. For instance, anxiety is problematic for many of us, but some people have found that it can be alleviated through various approaches such as boundary setting, relaxation techniques etc. 

I found it useful to educate myself about autism by reading the information available on the websites of the NAS, and other Autism charities. I also read a lot of books on Autism. This forum has been invaluable because the posts have demonstrated that we may have certain traits in common, yet they affect us in different ways, and we don’t all have the same traits. 

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate you taking the time to do so.

Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome back to the community!

Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about now having an explanation for our past difficulties, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion, uncertainty, so-called "imposter syndrome", and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving, and more. So please don't worry - it's normal! 

As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my difficulties.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistics

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS.

Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)