The Autistic Lorry Driver in need of help

Hi MarkJ 

I hear what you're saying.

Been there too.

Your doctor not picking up and doing anything with the diagnosis might be worth chasing as others have said.  If you're in the UK then each locality has to have some sort of formal strategy that they have in place for what to do after diagnosis.

This I would expect to be some sort of support framework to pass you over to.

Asking the GP about that maybe?

If you want to get a bit of a heads up about what might be available it could possibly be worth putting  "NHS autsim support" along with your city or county into Google or similar might point you towards what's available and maybe give you something to suggest to your GP?

Diagnoses also come with some suggestions I think - have you seen your written copy - maybe this gives "what next" things that could be followed up on?

As regards the depression and difficulty in being positive if you've been living with this since late teens getting an angle to work on that might change now you're diagnosed.  I was diagnosed aged 58 and am now 61.  I never got diagnosed when younger but looking back I was pretty badly depressed then and only got diagnosed with it when older.

As you've probably found out already autistic people are more likely to be diagnosed depressed and anxious than people without the diagnosis.  I have come round to the way of looking at it that it's not being autistic that makes depression it's the environment that an autistic person can find hard to fit into that makes the depression.  Getting to know yourself from learning about what other autistic people experience can make it easier to be happier as you don't keep trying to force a round peg into square holes...  

Would it make sense if I said you'd spent all your life thinking you were driving a lorry only to find our you've been flying a helicopter?  Or others asking you to drive a lorry when you're actually really a good helicopter pilot?  Hehe hope that hasn't confused things by using metaphors - sorry if it has!

Anyway - stick with things - be kind to yourself - late diagnosis means you've probably been thro' a lot and it can take a while to work stuff out to understand who you are as an autistic person who has been "masking" it for years - from others and yourself possibly.

Keep asking questions and look for answers in places you wouldn't expect them to be.  In this case your best resource is going to be you - you've got this far despite not realising you were in some ways "disabled" in society so you are strong.  Think how much better it'll be when you're more able to appreciate what a level playing field is and ask for it and where your strengths are and how to play to them!

All the best

(hehe, headlights flashed to say I'm coming past and/or to say it's safe to pull over now you're safely past!)

Hello. Does your job cause you issues or is being a Lorry Driver a good job for someone on the spectrum? As you are 60 is early retirement an option at all if your job is causing you issues? There are additional benefits you can apply for if you have a diagnosis which might mean you could work less if that would help create space to deal with your mental health issues? 

HiMarkJ and congratulations on your diagnosis.

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I too have suffered with depression and anxiety and never understood why until I got my diagnosis. Apparently we are more prone to it but at least now I am learning what accomodations I need to make so I don't suffer unnecessarily.

Can you ask your GP to be referred for some talking therapy or do you have someone close you can confide in who will be understanding and patient with you. Please do not suffer in silence. I never liked to talk about myself but it came to the point where I had to for my own sanity and It does help.

There is always someone to listen on here, I can listen, you are not alone.

Sending warm wishes (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

MarkJ said:

My Autistic Diagnosis has been with my GP for some time now, however, I have heard nothing from them.

I don't think many GPs have the spare capacity to be proactive these days and go asking you if you need help, but the onus is on you to ask them for what you need.

In your shoes I would consider the following approach:

1 - read up on autism and understand which of the autistic traits are the ones causing issues for you. I would estimate this taking a few days of your spare time to read a book like "Autism For Dummies (2025) - ISBN 9781394301003 (paberback); ISBN 9781394301027 (ebook)" which is good for targetted reading of the bits that you want to know about.

2 - Realise that good autism related therapy is very rare to find on the NHS. You can ask your doctor for some but I would not expect success as the NHS are quite limited in their resources too.

If you can afford it, a private psychotherapist is the best thing you can invest in (in my opinion) so long as they have a track record of working with autists as we need a different approach to "normal" patients. At £50/hour they are remarkably good value but will take a few sessions to start seeing results.

3 - Use the therapist for pointers on how to help yourself and take back control of your own mental health around this. Use the therapist to keep you on track, talk through your life experience with (this sounds a bit hippy but is actually critical to coming to terms with the lifelong trauma of the autistic experience and helps you deal with the defence mechanisms you use unknowingy that are often the source of your issues) and get to really find healthy coping mechanisms for the problems in your life.

If always seems darkest at first but the knowledge of your condition is a great place to start with to steal its power over you. Your therapist will be your guide but you will be the one walking that path, making yourself stronger, wiser and better with every step.

As the darkness starts to lift you will find more reasons for going on. Many here have been on a similar path to you so feel your pain but also know there is hope to be found if you find the right help.

Of course I'm just some random off the internet and you shouldn't rely on what I say - do your own research and hopefully you will find something that works for you.

Welcome to the club by the way.

Hello MarkJ 

Sorry that you have been feeling so low.

I was diagnosed about ten months ago, yet my GP hasn’t mentioned anything about autism. I think that is a common experience.

It would be worth making an appointment with your GP to discuss how you feel. They are likely to suggest one or more of several treatment options.

Dear MarkJ,  

Thank you for posting and telling the community what you are going through. We are sorry to hear that you are currently experiencing difficulties with your mental health. Thank you for sharing your experience, it is good that you’ve let us know what’s happening and how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.     

If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support. 

The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you are at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help  

If you are not at immediate risk of harm, we would encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional about this if you haven’t done so already. If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service. In England, Wales and Scotland there is now an option to speak with mental health professionals by selecting ‘option 2’ when calling NHS 111: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/   

You may also find the following useful:  

• NAS information and guidance for depression: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/depression 
• Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  
• SANEline: 0300 304 7000 for anyone experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else (4.30pm to 10.30pm, every day)  
• Shout 85258: a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope.  
• Mind Infoline: 0300 1233393 for information and signposting (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday, England and Wales only)   

We hope this is helpful to you.  

Kind regards 

Katrina Mod  

Hi and welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling. Get an appointment with your GP and tell them how you feel, as they can prescribe something to help or refer you for counselling as appropriate. Also ask us about anything you want. I hope you find the forum helpful.