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Looking for support

Elodie2Harmony

Partner to undiagnosed suspected autistic partner and autistic teen, hoping to find others for support in how to manage relationships.

I am finding it tough to find common interests and enjoy family time as they have their own world and interest which although I do have some enjoyment in it can't get as into it as them.

We struggle to get on well and I feel unwanted.

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    The NAS has some advice here:

    NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people

    You might also find this book helpful. It aims to help such couples (within which one just one of the partners is autistic) to have better relationships through improved mutual understanding and communication. It also includes some exercises that you can complete and discuss, if you wish, as part of that process:

    Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner

    A couple of points to mention:

    - The latest diagnostic manuals no longer use "Asperger's"; such individuals are instead now diagnosed as autism / Autism Spectrum Disorder.

    - Between discussing one scenario and the next, the author often switches the identity of the autistic party - ie in one scenario, the male is autistic, but in the next it's the female, etc. Although this has done for a good reason (to avoid reinforcing any stereotypes), it can be a bit frustrating and require some extra effort when reading - but I do think it's worth it.

    You could also consider couples counselling, ideally with a counsellor who has experience in helping neurodivergent people.

    If your partner might be interested in seeking a diagnosis, there's lots of useful information here:

    NAS - Diagnosis

    I wish you all the best. x 

Reply

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    The NAS has some advice here:

    NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people

    You might also find this book helpful. It aims to help such couples (within which one just one of the partners is autistic) to have better relationships through improved mutual understanding and communication. It also includes some exercises that you can complete and discuss, if you wish, as part of that process:

    Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner

    A couple of points to mention:

    - The latest diagnostic manuals no longer use "Asperger's"; such individuals are instead now diagnosed as autism / Autism Spectrum Disorder.

    - Between discussing one scenario and the next, the author often switches the identity of the autistic party - ie in one scenario, the male is autistic, but in the next it's the female, etc. Although this has done for a good reason (to avoid reinforcing any stereotypes), it can be a bit frustrating and require some extra effort when reading - but I do think it's worth it.

    You could also consider couples counselling, ideally with a counsellor who has experience in helping neurodivergent people.

    If your partner might be interested in seeking a diagnosis, there's lots of useful information here:

    NAS - Diagnosis

    I wish you all the best. x 

Children
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