Feeling supported in the workplace

Adding all this up, you are asking a lot of employers, both in terms of effort and in understanding.

Looking at the drivers for this - do we offer good enough value to them to make it worthwhile? Are we going to offer greater productivity, insight, performance etc than a NT counterpart?

I rather suspect that we will offer, on balance, less value to them than an NT precisely because our ND traits will make us more prone to periods of burnout, difficuty in processing some tasks such as change, stressful situations etc.

If we cannot cope with these things like out NT counterparts can, we cannot function on an equivelant level and with our persistent social interaction challenges, most will never be able to operate in a team in the same way.

It is these fact that is making the government force employers to accommodate us with the laws but it does not change the fact that most employers will be skeptical of our value.

How do you think we can convince employers we are a better hiring opportunity than an NT person?

I think a lot of my work burnout had to do with managers having no understanding of my differences or even that differences existed in general. If I spotted a detail that might cause problems in the course of the project, I was nit picking. If I asked questions to try to understand the requirements in more detail, I was being awkward. If I tried to communicate that my point was important enough to deserve some extra scrutiny or investigation, I was being argumentative.

Some managers were better than others. The ones who didn't like me tended to be the ones whose projects failed miserably. Those managers wouldn't listen to anyone, not just me. They were the manager, so they knew better—end of. However, I would remain vocal while everyone else on the team just learned to give up and shut up. My strong sense of loyalty to the business meant that I couldn't sit back and watch a project fail without at least trying something to avert disaster.

Other managers trusted that their engineering staff knew their stuff and that the engineers and not the managers should be the ones driving the engineering decisions. Those projects tended to be far more successful. More trust, more collaboration, far less friction and better outcomes.

I believe that I brought something to the table that would otherwise have been lacking. I think I was quite popular with my peers for being the one to ask the questions that everyone else was afraid to ask. The groupthink on projects I wasn't involved in tended to sink a lot of them.

Really appreciate you sharing your story Damojo —it honestly hit close to home. It sucks when something like attention to detail, which is such a strength, gets written off as nitpicking. I’ve worked in jobs where that kind of focus was absolutely key, so I totally get how valuable it is.

Workplaces can be weird sometimes, with all these unspoken social rules that seem to be made for neurotypical people. And half the time, they actually get in the way of doing good work. It’s a reminder that there’s still a lot of progress to be made when it comes to recognising and supporting neurodivergent strengths.

Personally, I just want to do my job well—I’m not trying to compete or outshine anyone. But in my last role, I was constantly bullied and gaslit by people who were more focused on climbing the ladder than working together. It got so bad I had to leave.

One of my strengths is creative thinking—coming up with new ways to work and solve problems. Another classic ND trait!

Sho said:

Personally, I just want to do my job well—I’m not trying to compete or outshine anyone. But in my last role, I was constantly bullied and gaslit by people who were more focused on climbing the ladder than working together. It got so bad I had to leave.

Yeah, once some people decide that your every action is an attempt to undermine them—in their twisted view of the world—things can get ugly fast. Like you, I just wanted to do a good job. I wanted projects to be done well, so that others wouldn't have to spend half their careers cleaning up the mess.

Near the end, I got to drive a project my way with a manager who understood my motivation. The project went really well and we finished ahead of time. My "reward" was to be assigned to the team with that other manager whose project was months late, a complete shambles, and I had to clean up some of their mess while they were busy creating new messes and holding status meetings three times a day. A few months later, after 14 years in that job, I quit to "pursue other opportunities".

In retrospect, I think I quit because I was struggling with overwhelm and stress from the increasing level of office politics, poor management, nonsensical demands, lack of professionalism, etc. and I was on the verge of burning out. I had burned out before when I was 22 and, even though I might not have been aware of it, I still carried that trauma with me and was, deep down, terrified that something like that could happen again.

Sho said:

Personally, I just want to do my job well—I’m not trying to compete or outshine anyone. But in my last role, I was constantly bullied and gaslit by people who were more focused on climbing the ladder than working together. It got so bad I had to leave.

Yeah, once some people decide that your every action is an attempt to undermine them—in their twisted view of the world—things can get ugly fast. Like you, I just wanted to do a good job. I wanted projects to be done well, so that others wouldn't have to spend half their careers cleaning up the mess.

Near the end, I got to drive a project my way with a manager who understood my motivation. The project went really well and we finished ahead of time. My "reward" was to be assigned to the team with that other manager whose project was months late, a complete shambles, and I had to clean up some of their mess while they were busy creating new messes and holding status meetings three times a day. A few months later, after 14 years in that job, I quit to "pursue other opportunities".

In retrospect, I think I quit because I was struggling with overwhelm and stress from the increasing level of office politics, poor management, nonsensical demands, lack of professionalism, etc. and I was on the verge of burning out. I had burned out before when I was 22 and, even though I might not have been aware of it, I still carried that trauma with me and was, deep down, terrified that something like that could happen again.