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Perception of "internal speed"

Deleted User

I've normally felt "slow" not just mentally but in a broader sense. Here are some examples:

  • Doing less tasks / day than most people
  • Strongly attach to my interests and span for a long hours, 
  • Learn slower than others, sometimes due to obsession at details other times due to my own inability to do it fast,
  • Walk slower, and feel quite inadequate in large cities, or busy streets.

In a way, brightness and loud noises feel a bit like "fast" to me as well, maybe it is somehow connecting noises to large cities and to "fast". I'd say even shyness and anxiety relate to this idea of speed: anxiety is sometimes my resistance to move faster; shyness too.

I wonder how it is for you.

Parents

  • The implications of others' assumed perceptions of my speed used to worry me, yet when I am doing something that matters to me, time has no value. When I am doing something I do not enjoy, time seems especially slow.

    I abuse coffee for faster edits in time; skip between tasks merrily, bursts of focus on one topic then another.

    Your internal clock might have a preferred sense of place, and your role within that place. For example, I would never be able to work in a barber shop because I would be wanting things to happen far more than they do, or to make things happen, that would likely irrirate those around me (reorganising items, constantly sweeping the floor, considering new methods to attract clients, etc.). Yet when I visit the right barber shop, the pace is ideal for being sat in a chair while a stranger cuts my hair.

    I am with you on experience intensity having a speed. Alighting the train at London Euston and heading for the Underground is thrilling novelty for me. Everything about it - proximity of people, noise, artificial light, the rude and impatient hurry - is against my usual preference. Yet because I know how bad it will be, I love it. Essentially, each time I travel, I am celebrating the overcoming of travel anxiety through exposure to its least preferable sensory data.

    I will add that I feel a lot of my anxiety is diminishing as I accept my autism following diagnosis, and I try to use technology to pre-empt what remains (Google Maps, TFL, realtimetrains, whatplatform, podcasts/audiobooks with soft headphones, plus loop earplugs when necessary).

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  • The implications of others' assumed perceptions of my speed used to worry me, yet when I am doing something that matters to me, time has no value. When I am doing something I do not enjoy, time seems especially slow.

    I abuse coffee for faster edits in time; skip between tasks merrily, bursts of focus on one topic then another.

    Your internal clock might have a preferred sense of place, and your role within that place. For example, I would never be able to work in a barber shop because I would be wanting things to happen far more than they do, or to make things happen, that would likely irrirate those around me (reorganising items, constantly sweeping the floor, considering new methods to attract clients, etc.). Yet when I visit the right barber shop, the pace is ideal for being sat in a chair while a stranger cuts my hair.

    I am with you on experience intensity having a speed. Alighting the train at London Euston and heading for the Underground is thrilling novelty for me. Everything about it - proximity of people, noise, artificial light, the rude and impatient hurry - is against my usual preference. Yet because I know how bad it will be, I love it. Essentially, each time I travel, I am celebrating the overcoming of travel anxiety through exposure to its least preferable sensory data.

    I will add that I feel a lot of my anxiety is diminishing as I accept my autism following diagnosis, and I try to use technology to pre-empt what remains (Google Maps, TFL, realtimetrains, whatplatform, podcasts/audiobooks with soft headphones, plus loop earplugs when necessary).

Children
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