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This helped me, so I’m sharing in case it helps someone else

Kate Kestrel

Hi everyone.

I was just sitting here thinking about how learning about Zen Buddhism has helped me more than anything else has - and it suddenly struck me that I should mention it on here - just in case it might be helpful to someone who is really struggling right now. I’ll make it brief as I don’t want to behave like some kind of bore filled with missionary zeal!Joy

I am an autistic woman (possibly ADHD too), I had a dysfunctional childhood (very critical and judgemental parents who couldn’t express love towards me), plus I spent a lot of time in hospital as a very young child and I think I was left with a lot of anxiety because of that. So long term anxiety and stress etc. A lot of insecurity and low self esteem. So a lot to sort out! 

I also had severe illness about 3 years ago - and was treated for PTSD after that. 

Anyway, the NHS talking therapy for the PTSD really was effective at treating the PTSD. 
But then there was still all the long term stuff I had to deal with. In the past I’d tried Anti depressants with fairly disastrous side effects - so that didn’t work. I’d tried all sorts of natural remedies and self help books. Alcohol helped a bit - if only for an hour or two. But I still had this serious problem with anxiety every day - and it’s so hard to enjoy life with that level of constant anxiety. 

Anyway - about 2-3 years ago I listened to a recorded talk by this Zen Buddhist Master called Thich Nhat Hanh. I was immediately struck by his completely different way of looking at the world. He had a completely different perspective on everything. So I listened to more and more of these talks and it’s been the most profoundly helpful thing for me and has changed the way I think about life, about people, about the world. It’s significantly reduced my anxiety and unhappiness, it’s changed my life for the better in such a profound and lasting way. And I am so grateful because I thought I was a lost cause and that I’d never be free of that constant knawing anxiety that was making my life a complete misery - even making me want to take my own life.

I know everyone is different - I’m not saying this is the answer for everyone. But I just thought: I must come on here and share this just in case it could help someone else. 

So if anyone wants to check this out you can find the talks etc in the following places:

Google : Thich Nhat Hanh. This is the name of the Zen Master - he is sometimes known as ‘The Father of Mindfulness’ because he’s such a great communicator of the practice of Mindfulness which is a classic Buddhist practice and really it’s where a lot of CBT ideas were ‘stolen’ from. It changes how we think in positive ways that reduce suffering. 

YouTube: there’s a YouTube channel called ‘Plum Village’ that has loads of free talks going back years. Plum Village is the tradition/monastery founded by Thich Nhat Hanh.

if you search Thich Nhat Hanh on YouTube there’s loads of material there. Great interviews and talks.

Audible: this has loads of audiobooks by Thich Nhat Hanh, and also a lot of free talks included in the membership. 

And there’s a lot of books also - but I find hearing the talks more helpful.

i think Buddhism is a natural fit with many autistic people. Thich Nhat Hanh’s particular school of Buddhism is super accessible- much easier to understand and benefit from than most other forms/schools of Buddhism. They run Retreats too if anyone was interested in that. Sadly Thich Nhat Hanh died in 2022 but the tradition is continued by the people he inspired to continue this tradition.

So if anyone wants to investigate this I recommend it. For me it’s been completely transforming and healing. It’s not that I don’t still struggle sometimes and I still get anxious, but when I have a bad day I have so many more ways to deal with it and feel better much more quickly. I have the best ‘tools’ to cope with any suffering I might experience, and to cope with life problems when they arise. So I just wanted to share this, in case it might help someone else.  Life can be so hard and anything that helps is very precious. 

Parents

  • Hi Kate, I have recently been looking at Zen Buddhism and started meditating just a few weeks ago. Unfortunately I find it a very difficult habit to keep. I have come across the name Thich Nhat Hanh before so will investigate further, thank you.

    I have been wondering how zen Buddhism could be helpful to an autistic person in particular. I think possibly my mind has made other forms of meditation more difficult and frustrating but zen seems more manageable. I have found it helpful in ignoring stuff that doesn't need to be taken seriously (like some minor slight that would ordinarily wind me up) whilst allowing me to be a bit more confident in my own principles.

    All very much a work in progress of course, as it always will be.

Reply

  • Hi Kate, I have recently been looking at Zen Buddhism and started meditating just a few weeks ago. Unfortunately I find it a very difficult habit to keep. I have come across the name Thich Nhat Hanh before so will investigate further, thank you.

    I have been wondering how zen Buddhism could be helpful to an autistic person in particular. I think possibly my mind has made other forms of meditation more difficult and frustrating but zen seems more manageable. I have found it helpful in ignoring stuff that doesn't need to be taken seriously (like some minor slight that would ordinarily wind me up) whilst allowing me to be a bit more confident in my own principles.

    All very much a work in progress of course, as it always will be.

Children
  • in reply to McFrost

    Hi McFrost, I can relate to your experience with meditation. Funnily enough I’ve heard many Buddhist Monks and Nuns say that they massively struggled with meditation and even “hated” having to do it initially! For various reasons I found focusing on the breath very stressful and as so many meditation techniques involve that I struggled with that so much. Thankfully there are many different ways to meditate, and in addition you can really benefit from Buddhist teachings and philosophy without meditating at all. Meditation is fundamentally just concentration - it can be concentrating on sounds for example, and I particularly like walking meditation outside in nature because I like movement and find sitting really still not pleasant. Maybe that’s because I’m autistic? Probably! There’s all sorts of approaches. One of the things I most like about the Thich Nhat Hanh / Plum Village tradition is that it’s very accessible and not at all strict - it’s very different to many other Zen traditions which can be quite intimidating and rigid. And they have a sense of humour - and encourage that! They encourage joy rather than strict asceticism etc. Like you I find that it has helped me to keep things in perspective and to not get so ‘caught’ in things that previously I would dwell on for days and days and really obsess about. It’s opened my mind to different ways of looking at things, I’ve got more ‘space’ in my thinking - I’m more able to get a bit of distance between me and my thoughts and reactions to things. It’s extraordinary how much it’s helped me. It’s taken a couple of years to get these ways of thinking really integrated into my life - but even in the early weeks of encountering it it really made a difference. These are teachings that are very ancient and they’ve not survived for nothing - they’ve survived because they genuinely work for people. I wish you luck with learning more about Thich Nhat Hanh - I’ll ’eat my hat’ if you don’t benefit in some way or other from him - because he’s a fascinating person with a huge amount of wisdom to offer. Best wishes to you.