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This helped me, so I’m sharing in case it helps someone else

Kate Kestrel

Hi everyone.

I was just sitting here thinking about how learning about Zen Buddhism has helped me more than anything else has - and it suddenly struck me that I should mention it on here - just in case it might be helpful to someone who is really struggling right now. I’ll make it brief as I don’t want to behave like some kind of bore filled with missionary zeal!Joy

I am an autistic woman (possibly ADHD too), I had a dysfunctional childhood (very critical and judgemental parents who couldn’t express love towards me), plus I spent a lot of time in hospital as a very young child and I think I was left with a lot of anxiety because of that. So long term anxiety and stress etc. A lot of insecurity and low self esteem. So a lot to sort out! 

I also had severe illness about 3 years ago - and was treated for PTSD after that. 

Anyway, the NHS talking therapy for the PTSD really was effective at treating the PTSD. 
But then there was still all the long term stuff I had to deal with. In the past I’d tried Anti depressants with fairly disastrous side effects - so that didn’t work. I’d tried all sorts of natural remedies and self help books. Alcohol helped a bit - if only for an hour or two. But I still had this serious problem with anxiety every day - and it’s so hard to enjoy life with that level of constant anxiety. 

Anyway - about 2-3 years ago I listened to a recorded talk by this Zen Buddhist Master called Thich Nhat Hanh. I was immediately struck by his completely different way of looking at the world. He had a completely different perspective on everything. So I listened to more and more of these talks and it’s been the most profoundly helpful thing for me and has changed the way I think about life, about people, about the world. It’s significantly reduced my anxiety and unhappiness, it’s changed my life for the better in such a profound and lasting way. And I am so grateful because I thought I was a lost cause and that I’d never be free of that constant knawing anxiety that was making my life a complete misery - even making me want to take my own life.

I know everyone is different - I’m not saying this is the answer for everyone. But I just thought: I must come on here and share this just in case it could help someone else. 

So if anyone wants to check this out you can find the talks etc in the following places:

Google : Thich Nhat Hanh. This is the name of the Zen Master - he is sometimes known as ‘The Father of Mindfulness’ because he’s such a great communicator of the practice of Mindfulness which is a classic Buddhist practice and really it’s where a lot of CBT ideas were ‘stolen’ from. It changes how we think in positive ways that reduce suffering. 

YouTube: there’s a YouTube channel called ‘Plum Village’ that has loads of free talks going back years. Plum Village is the tradition/monastery founded by Thich Nhat Hanh.

if you search Thich Nhat Hanh on YouTube there’s loads of material there. Great interviews and talks.

Audible: this has loads of audiobooks by Thich Nhat Hanh, and also a lot of free talks included in the membership. 

And there’s a lot of books also - but I find hearing the talks more helpful.

i think Buddhism is a natural fit with many autistic people. Thich Nhat Hanh’s particular school of Buddhism is super accessible- much easier to understand and benefit from than most other forms/schools of Buddhism. They run Retreats too if anyone was interested in that. Sadly Thich Nhat Hanh died in 2022 but the tradition is continued by the people he inspired to continue this tradition.

So if anyone wants to investigate this I recommend it. For me it’s been completely transforming and healing. It’s not that I don’t still struggle sometimes and I still get anxious, but when I have a bad day I have so many more ways to deal with it and feel better much more quickly. I have the best ‘tools’ to cope with any suffering I might experience, and to cope with life problems when they arise. So I just wanted to share this, in case it might help someone else.  Life can be so hard and anything that helps is very precious. 

Parents

  • Getting one's head around how the mind connects to reality is (almost) always worth the effort.  In a sense acknowledging that there are shed loads of different realities one might experience more intuitively.  Also that we have personal history, biases and grooved expectations that can limit access to them is very useful thing to do.

    As you value Zen then you might find Taoism a useful thing to explore too if you've not done so already  .  As you may already be aware It is one of the roots of Zen.

    -/\- :-)

Reply

  • Getting one's head around how the mind connects to reality is (almost) always worth the effort.  In a sense acknowledging that there are shed loads of different realities one might experience more intuitively.  Also that we have personal history, biases and grooved expectations that can limit access to them is very useful thing to do.

    As you value Zen then you might find Taoism a useful thing to explore too if you've not done so already  .  As you may already be aware It is one of the roots of Zen.

    -/\- :-)

Children
  • in reply to Phased

    Thank you - I haven’t investigated Taoism at all - how exciting -  I’d love to find out about that! Thank you for suggesting it - it’s not been on my radar. I like what you say about ‘different realities’ - yes - it’s extraordinary how life opens up when you begin to realise how limited our thinking is a lot of the time. But that’s usually because we simply aren’t taught to think more deeply about our own perceptions. Western societies are extraordinarily poor (in recent times) at encouraging and teaching people to really THINK. I suspect that’s partly because they don’t particularly want people to think too much! 
    We are often psychologically trapped by ways of thinking that we’ve inherited from our upbringing. We are told how things are, and who we are, by people who themselves haven’t got much of a clue. One of my favourite things that Thich Nhat Hanh says is: “I walk as a free person” - and freedom is as much a state of mind as it is about what’s physically happening to us. Many of the things that stop us feeling free are mental states that are (it turns out) based on completely wrong perceptions that have been instilled in us by our culture and upbringing.  As autistic people I think we are particularly vulnerable to defining ourselves and feeling bad about ourselves because of other people’s (and societies) false perceptions about us. But this applies also to virtually every aspect of existence - things are often very different to how we perceive them to be. It’s so fascinating and also very liberating.