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This helped me, so I’m sharing in case it helps someone else

Kate Kestrel

Hi everyone.

I was just sitting here thinking about how learning about Zen Buddhism has helped me more than anything else has - and it suddenly struck me that I should mention it on here - just in case it might be helpful to someone who is really struggling right now. I’ll make it brief as I don’t want to behave like some kind of bore filled with missionary zeal!Joy

I am an autistic woman (possibly ADHD too), I had a dysfunctional childhood (very critical and judgemental parents who couldn’t express love towards me), plus I spent a lot of time in hospital as a very young child and I think I was left with a lot of anxiety because of that. So long term anxiety and stress etc. A lot of insecurity and low self esteem. So a lot to sort out! 

I also had severe illness about 3 years ago - and was treated for PTSD after that. 

Anyway, the NHS talking therapy for the PTSD really was effective at treating the PTSD. 
But then there was still all the long term stuff I had to deal with. In the past I’d tried Anti depressants with fairly disastrous side effects - so that didn’t work. I’d tried all sorts of natural remedies and self help books. Alcohol helped a bit - if only for an hour or two. But I still had this serious problem with anxiety every day - and it’s so hard to enjoy life with that level of constant anxiety. 

Anyway - about 2-3 years ago I listened to a recorded talk by this Zen Buddhist Master called Thich Nhat Hanh. I was immediately struck by his completely different way of looking at the world. He had a completely different perspective on everything. So I listened to more and more of these talks and it’s been the most profoundly helpful thing for me and has changed the way I think about life, about people, about the world. It’s significantly reduced my anxiety and unhappiness, it’s changed my life for the better in such a profound and lasting way. And I am so grateful because I thought I was a lost cause and that I’d never be free of that constant knawing anxiety that was making my life a complete misery - even making me want to take my own life.

I know everyone is different - I’m not saying this is the answer for everyone. But I just thought: I must come on here and share this just in case it could help someone else. 

So if anyone wants to check this out you can find the talks etc in the following places:

Google : Thich Nhat Hanh. This is the name of the Zen Master - he is sometimes known as ‘The Father of Mindfulness’ because he’s such a great communicator of the practice of Mindfulness which is a classic Buddhist practice and really it’s where a lot of CBT ideas were ‘stolen’ from. It changes how we think in positive ways that reduce suffering. 

YouTube: there’s a YouTube channel called ‘Plum Village’ that has loads of free talks going back years. Plum Village is the tradition/monastery founded by Thich Nhat Hanh.

if you search Thich Nhat Hanh on YouTube there’s loads of material there. Great interviews and talks.

Audible: this has loads of audiobooks by Thich Nhat Hanh, and also a lot of free talks included in the membership. 

And there’s a lot of books also - but I find hearing the talks more helpful.

i think Buddhism is a natural fit with many autistic people. Thich Nhat Hanh’s particular school of Buddhism is super accessible- much easier to understand and benefit from than most other forms/schools of Buddhism. They run Retreats too if anyone was interested in that. Sadly Thich Nhat Hanh died in 2022 but the tradition is continued by the people he inspired to continue this tradition.

So if anyone wants to investigate this I recommend it. For me it’s been completely transforming and healing. It’s not that I don’t still struggle sometimes and I still get anxious, but when I have a bad day I have so many more ways to deal with it and feel better much more quickly. I have the best ‘tools’ to cope with any suffering I might experience, and to cope with life problems when they arise. So I just wanted to share this, in case it might help someone else.  Life can be so hard and anything that helps is very precious. 

Parents

  • For me, Zen Buddhism has also been useful.

    Nowadays, I only conserve traces of it, and simply sit silent for 10'. I've always found a little bit hard to participate in temples, which is where I learn best but the social part frequently pulls me back. I like less to learn from videos.

    Anyways, it is nice to hear that it was life changing for you, and I simply accompany your intuition that it can be helpful for many here.

Reply

  • For me, Zen Buddhism has also been useful.

    Nowadays, I only conserve traces of it, and simply sit silent for 10'. I've always found a little bit hard to participate in temples, which is where I learn best but the social part frequently pulls me back. I like less to learn from videos.

    Anyways, it is nice to hear that it was life changing for you, and I simply accompany your intuition that it can be helpful for many here.

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    Thank you - I’m so happy for you that it’s also been helpful to you. I’ve also not visited ‘in person’ retreats etc as I find the social part of that daunting. I hope to do so in the future though - because I think that even though as autistic people we find contact with others a challenge - I think if we can do it it’s often very rewarding. I need to get out of my comfort zone I think when it comes to avoiding groups of people. 
    I just wanted to add also for anyone reading this: it takes time to reap the benefits of learning Buddhist philosophy- it’s not a quick fix. Most days I’ll read or listen to something connected to Buddhist (and sometimes Hindu) philosophy. It is a matter of daily or weekly practice - not necessarily meditation (I found meditation very challenging until I encountered Walking Meditation which really suits my nature) - but just daily reminders/focus on Buddhist perspectives and teachings. When faced with a challenge now my mind naturally remembers principles like impermanence, non attachment, inter-being, letting go, being empty of a separate self etc. As time goes on it happens very naturally and I find it enormously helpful. For example if someone is rude or unkind to me in some way I no longer internalise that and start getting paranoid about that. Issues I had with my parents I can let go of now. It makes a difference every day really. Even with little practical things - like the washing machine breaking down! Buddhist philosophy just gives me a better perspective on life.