Waiting for assessment, worried I wont fit in here.

Hey everyone. This is the first time I have ever reached out.

I am currently waiting for an assessment. The wait doesn't seem to be too much longer- perhaps 12-14 weeks.

I chose to explore this path myself, with everyone but my husband saying the usual 'We're all on the scale', 'Never seen traits in you', which I have actually found quite hurtful. This has been the one place that gave me the 'Ah ha!' moment. 

I'm 39 years old and spent most of my life wondering why I'm so different. I even thought at one point that maybe I actually AM from another planet. 

I guess I'm in a place now where I'm worried that I won't fit in here either. That I'll have my assessment and they'll tell me- no, you're just very sensitive.

To me, it's more than that. To me it's a lifetime of emotional intensity, overwhelm, meltdowns, stimming and those blooming itchy labels. It's so much more than I can write right now, and I'm so afraid I just won't fit in again. Story of my life.

I don't think I have anyone to take to the assessment to talk about my childhood. My Mother is not reliable, she lives in a fantasy land. And my Father (possibly Autistic) lives in denial and would not have time because the whole idea of this assessment would seem ridiculous to him.

So that's where I'm at. I'm hoping to find some like-minded people- who listen to the trees whisper, feel the magic crawl up their spine as the leaves fall over the next few months, and those who understand that sometimes, ear plugs are necessary even when we spend time with our loved ones.

xx 

Parents
  • The autistic tribe is the only tribe I’ve ever felt myself and safe to be myself, your post is written wonderfully. Don’t worry about not fitting in here this is a place for you, good luck with your assessment it’s a long emotional process but whatever you feel in the weeks to come is very much valid.

Reply
  • The autistic tribe is the only tribe I’ve ever felt myself and safe to be myself, your post is written wonderfully. Don’t worry about not fitting in here this is a place for you, good luck with your assessment it’s a long emotional process but whatever you feel in the weeks to come is very much valid.

Children
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